I know you
by koopychuppy
Summary: After the events of Star Wars: The Force awakens and before the Last Jedi. Speculative Reylo fan fiction piece. Slow Burn. Rated Mature so I can do what I want. Now an Alternate narrative since TLJ came out. Rey and Kylo are alarmed to find that there is a connection through the Force that draws the two rivals together. Will this connection be a weakness or a source of strength?
1. Chapter 1

He traced the fire red scar that trailed in a steady anger over the the bridge of his nose down to his lower jaw. Unlike the painful sting he felt in the movement, there was only the sensation of an odd satisfaction at the mark, a brand given to him by the girl.

The girl. He thought of her often. He reasoned with himself that it was for the First Order, that such a powerful wielder of the Force must be planned for and studied but he knew that was merely self justification. The truth was he couldn't help it. Whenever his mind had an idle moment she was there, scowling into his mind with a stray hair rebelling into the breeze, skin as golden and glistening as the desert planet she called home.

He shook the image out of his head. It wasn't that. Not entirely anyway. The little scavenger was pretty but beauty to satisfy the body could be found anywhere in the galaxy. This was

different.

"Such strength.." She would soon overtake him in power. The Force came to her so naturally, easily, it practically flowed through her. He could feel her humming with it whenever he got close.

He could teach her so much. There was so much to show her. His mind lingered on the thought he had ruminated on so many times since she had awoken and dug into his mind so aggressively. The thought of her standing beside him, small frame not tensed for battle but expectant and eager for knowledge. Showing her all that he knew, her hand in his as he showed her how to channel her power. He would be gentle, patient, whatever she needed. She would flourish.

His brow wrinkled with frustration as he ran his hand through his dark hair, strands of rebellious curls falling over his eyes. She was too entwined in the light. He was far too entrenched in the dark. He was a monster in her eyes. The killer of the closest thing to a father she would ever have. It was a fool's dream to think she would ever soften for him. She could never really be his student. Looking up to him as a faithful little padawan. That was not her destiny. She was already his equal standing on the opposite side of that some great something that was bringing them together only to place them each on opposite ends. She had already overtaken him more than once. She would again.

He slammed his fist on the dashboard in front of him, causing the monitors to flare and flicker along with his frustration. The dull ache in his fist only confirmed what he knew. She was right. He was a monster. A violent, uncontrollable and savage creature. Not yet strong enough to handle the power his grandfather welded so effortlessly.

He takes a deep breath to steady himself. He wished he had searched more when he had the chance to peer into her mind so effortlessly. He lingers on the memory of the island on the sea. Its beautiful. Peaceful. Serene. If only he could have seen more. Seen how a scavenger girl from a desert planet dreams up peaceful islands and endless oceans. Seen the source of her fire.

The monitor in front of him chirps. The time for idle thoughts is over. He runs fingertips over the scars once more. It still stings. Time to focus. The island fades from his mind as he prepares for take off


	2. Chapter 2

She pushes a rebel strand of sandy brown hair out of her eyes as a sharp gust of air rushes up from the sea over the cliffside. Her eyes squint into the sun as she peers off over the waves. She's having trouble meditating. Master Luke will be disappointed.

The air is crisp and sprinkled with the tangy smell of salt. The cliff dark, sharp and coated with a spray of impossible green. Seabirds call into the wind. It's everything she had ever imagined all those nights on Jakku. An island in the sea. Someone to guide her. This is what she wanted...and yet..

...and yet every time she closes her eyes she sees a snowy forest with the hills collapsing all around her and staring at her with eyes, pulsating and unknowable as two orbs of dark matter, is the man. The man who seems to know something about her she doesn't know. The man who killed his own father, her friend, Han Solo. He stares at her behind the red flash of lightsaber burn, boring dark eyes into her own and she feels the hum of the Force between them. It's familiar in its warmth and light yet somehow different, somehow darker, heavier, sweeter. Balanced.

The man bothers her. She wants to loath him but something in him unlocks something inside her. Something about that savage creature of a man with his pale fragile features draws up something powerful in her that she never knew she had. She wants that something. Needs it.

Her thoughts linger over his features. Its become almost a type of meditation but unlike her island it rarely brings a peaceful emptiness of mind. Instead it brings back the hum. It's faint but she can feel it rustling as she trails over and refines her mental picture. His large frame, nearly twice her height, the toss of dark curls, a long angular face with features that are by all accounts handsome yet somehow just slightly too much and too little all at once.

She usually stops with his face. Recalling how is eyes look into her own is too much to keep a steady enough hold on the hum to continue. Today the hum is stronger than usual. She draws up his eyes, lingers for awhile and then moves onto his voice.

Finding the right pitch takes some time. His voice had been deeper with the mask but she soon finds it, still deep but vulnerable.

"What are the coordinates for the girl?" The voice asks impatiently.

She gasps. This is not a memory. She can feel her heart hammering in her throat. She clenches her hand into fists, nails digging into her palms, trying to keep her claim on the hum long enough to hear more.

She only hears one more word before the connection skips through her fingers and she is left standing on shaking legs, gulping in gasps of sea air as her mind races to make sense of it. Only one word, whispered reverently and determined.

"Rey."


	3. Chapter 3

The sleek metallic walls of the fighter cockpit echoed as the knight of Ren cursed under his breath. He longed to slash something with his lightsaber but the surroundings were not only too small to maneuver but also vitally necessary for survival in the vacuum of space.

When he had asked for the coordinates he had wanted something a bit more specific.

The first order was, if nothing else, a bureaucracy and any request was filled to the letter but nothing more. He had asked for the coordinates and they had given him the planet. This wasn't an official mission- it was hard enough to get the cooperation he was getting. Besides, it was as close as they could get without the droid. He knew that but he still ground his teeth at the mechanical tediousness of it all. It was like searching for a particular grain of sand on a shore or in this case, searching for a single small girl on a decently sized planet.

He would have to narrow down where she was himself.

He cast his eyes lazily over the surface of the planet as it flickered on the monitors casting the dashboard in front of it with a blue glow. Lots of water, a few continental plates, islands sprinkled like freckles across the surface. It was pretty but seemingly unremarkable. Much like the girl he was trying to find on it.

 _She would like these islands_ he mused to himself, a slight smile forming reflexively. So much like her girlish little daydreams. Green islands in the sea.

Suddenly he was struck with a thought.

 _The island..._ it couldn't be. The implications of his idea left him light headed. Maybe they weren't just girlish little daydreams.

 _Maybe the Force had been telling her where to find Luke._

He taps at the monitor controls and zooms in on the nearest splash of islands and looks them over one by one. Most are too rocky, not nearly as green as the stolen memory he clenches in his mind. _Could the Force have shown her where that old jedi was hiding before she saw the coordinates from the droid?_ He wondered. It was certainly possible. It made sense even. She had blossomed to the Force so easily. It practically coursed through her like blood. He had felt her strength...feared it even. He felt like an idiot. All this time he _had_ gotten the information he had wanted from her. He had just been too stupid to realize what it was.

He scanned through more images of the surface. She was there on that island. It was only a matter of time before he found her.


	4. Chapter 4

The day had been a disaster. Her discovery earlier that morning had left her shaken and distracted, a mindset that was never ideal when force training with the Jedi legend. Master Luke was a fickle and hesitant teacher regardless but after losing control during an exercise in lifting with the Force and nearly toppling a boulder onto them, he had been even quicker than usual in calling an end to the days training. Perhaps he could see she was distressed and was being kind but the slight flash of bewildered remembrance that crept over his face whenever she showed an excess of strength gave her an uneasy feeling that something else was on the jedi's mind.

Still hesitant or not, he had been kind to her.

She walked into the dusky air of evening. Luke had left her in the cavern they shared as shelter to once again meditate but she needed to move. Needed to think. She walked down a makeshift dirt path and into the tall grass of a nearby field. The calls of insects resonated in the air.

The hum was back. It had returned quickly after she had lost her grip on it but she had been too anxious to attempt to grab hold of it again. It was different from how the Force usually felt. For her the Force wrapped easily around her, silken and complying. The hum had no compliance. It beckoned to her with a tense electrical need. She could only access it on its terms.

Curiosity won her over and she hesitantly reached out with her will towards the hum. It sparked caustically at her attempt to wrangle it. It wouldn't bend for her. She would have to figure out another way.

She thought back to her earlier experience. How Kylo Ren, her enemy had whispered her name so delicately. It almost reminded her of something. A voice she had heard before.

She dropped the thought. More importantly than the familiarity of the whisper was the dreadful fact that he was searching for her. Unlike most of the First Order, the Knight of Ren always seemed to have his own second agenda. Was he coming to eliminate her for the Order? Or was he here for his own unknowing purpose?

A sudden breeze rustled through the grass and her hair. She shivered, goosebumps hackling the downy hair on her bare shoulders. _He's going to find me eventually_ she mused, an idea forming

 _I might as well try to find him first._


	5. Chapter 5

He had narrowed it down to five islands. All had green mossy cliffs and fresh water sources and more importantly looked eerily similar to the memory he had plucked from the young scavenger's meditations. This was as far as he could go. He'd have to search all five.

He groaned. Two were in the eastern sea, the other three were sparely placed in the south. It would take awhile to search them all. He leaned back into the cold leather pilots seat and closed his eyes.

In all honesty he wasn't even sure why he bothered searching for the girl at all. The First Order could destroy planets if it desired. If it was revenge he was seeking he could easily just let them blast the planet to pieces. It wasn't revenge he wanted. He knew that much.

It was a pull. The humming vibrations of the Force, ones he had never felt before. It was fascinating, compelling even, and it all focused on the girl.

He allowed his mind to wander. The methodical search had been tedious but it had been something to focus on. Now his mind once again strayed towards the scavenger girl.

It had been sometime since he had last seen her but he could still picture her eyes, fearful but ablaze with defiance. How she tried to contain her mess of sandy brown hair in those curious buns she wore.

As he lingered, he could feel the hum of the Force resonate stronger. He paused, unnerved at the reaction but fell back into picturing the scavenger with a new focus. There was something about the strange vibrations in the Force and the girl he realized. Some connection.

He shifted his thoughts to picturing her on her island. How the sweat would bead under her eyes as she trained. How the sea breeze would rustle through her hair. How her voice would echo off the rocky cliffs, strangely aristocratic for such a small scavenger girl from a rough desert planet.

"I know you're up there, monster." It chided

He started in his seat almost losing his grip on the humming...on the connection. She was speaking to him. He was stunned. Never in any of his texts on the Force had he come across a similar phenomenon.

"You..." he whispered "but how?"

The scavenger's voice faltered a bit as it resonated in his mind. "I'm not sure" she admitted. The lilting sweetness of her voice made his head spin. Having her speaking in his mind felt strangely intimate and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"But you're going to help me find out."


	6. Chapter 6

She had done it. She had found him. It had been strangely easy to surrender herself to the hum. To imagine the knight of Ren orbiting the planet and letting the Force bring her little bits and pieces to fill it all in. The dark metallic of a First Order cockpit. A black bandage suspended over the worst of his scar and once she had him in her mind so clearly, leaning back in an uncomfortable looking flight chair, it was like she was right there.

She didn't even open her mouth to speak to him; just released her chiding thought into the hum and it was there. She could see him start with shock in his seat. See him almost falling at her voice. She would have laughed had she not been concentrating and had he been anyone else.

"..how?" She could feel him whisper uneasily.

Suddenly she felt nervous. Maybe this had been a bad idea. This ability was clearly powerful. Master Luke had always become uneasy and even distrustful anytime she displayed her strong capabilities with the Force. Capabilities she knew she shouldn't have yet as an untrained outsider. "I'm not sure" she faltered hesitating.

Showing her enemy one of her cards could have disastrous consequences she realized belatedly. She chided herself but maintained her resolve. It was too late. Strategy or not she had found him and called out to him. She would not let the effort go wasted.

"You're going to help me find out." She found herself announcing with more bravado in the statement than she felt. She could feel his eyes darting and could feel him reaching out through the hum, fumbling to find her. To see her like she saw him. She couldn't allow that. He would definitely find her that way.

"Stop," she scolded "I can't let you."

"Why?" He questioned a tense wrinkle forming between his brows. He pushed harder.

"You know why" she sighed steeling her defenses.

She could see his lips pursing into a crease. He thought for a moment.

"I do" he quit reaching for her and shifted into his chair. He looked up at the ceiling as if she might be there. He started again. His voice a whisper, as if he wasn't sure he could reach her with his mind alone. He started again. "Why are you.." he struggled to form the words, she could see him swallow as they caught in his throat.

" Why me?" He asked with a cough "You hate me." The last half was a statement and the end of it fizzled out between them in the hum like a meteor speck falling into an atmosphere.

She brushed the question aside. She had no answer for him and even if she did she wouldn't have obliged him anyway.

" Have you felt it?" She asked quickly, all too aware of how tense her voice sounded in her head.

He tensed at the question. She could see the sarcastic scowl appear on his face before she could sense his biting response. "Felt what?" He sneered.

The image she held crackled like static as he threw his defenses up blocking her reach. She ground her teeth in frustration. He had cut her off! She had exposed herself and gained nothing.

Suddenly she felt a smug scoff. He was still there. He was mocking her! She clenched her fist.

She could almost see the conceited curl of his lips as his deep voice purred in her head.

"Two can play this game, _sweetheart_."


	7. Chapter 7

The dark force wielder could hear his heartbreak thudding and echoing against the metallic walls. He resisted the urge to grin. To laugh into the small interior of the fighter. It had been ages since he'd felt so- _interested._

It had been a misstep to tease her. Satisfying to feel her squeak of indignation but counter productive. She had quickly and efficiently severed the connection between them. He gathered she was looking for something from him. She was young but sensible. He doubted she would have reached out merely out of a sense of curiosity. He had many theories as to what she could have been looking for, none of which gave him any pleasure. She wasn't reaching out to him because she wanted to chat. Let her try to spy on him for her little friends in the Resistance. He had more than enough experience keeping his secrets to himself.

Still he had missed an opportunity. He'd have to go back to his original plan. Island hopping was so inefficient. If he had just pushed harder he could have gotten it out of her.

He knew he never would. It had been so easy to rip the memory of the droid out of her simpering pilot friend but with the little scavenger-with Rey, it was different. It was difficult.

He toggled the controls on the monitor and flipped a few switches on the dashboard in front of him. He might as well get started. He strapped himself in and gripped the steering mechanism veering the ship into position to enter the atmosphere of the planet. On the monitor blinked the image of one of the five islands. He'd go one by one till he found her. He narrowed his eyes as the ship descended, squinting as the atmosphere blazed over the ship like liquid sun.

...

Rey ran through the nighttime shadows of the tall grass, flying through the field back to the cavern. She had made a mistake. She had to warn Master Luke. Had to get him off this planet before that creature and the First Order he served found him. Why had she been so careless? She cursed under her breath as her lungs burned from the chilled air.

She stumbled into the cavern. Her master started in surprise dropping a root he'd been peeling with a clatter.

"Rey!" He exclaimed "What's going on? You nearly made me slice my good hand!"

She gasped for air "Sorry, we have to go! The First Order is coming!" She grabbed hold of the silvery wrist of his mechanical hand and frantically pulled him through the entrance towards the familiar ship she'd come to him on, the Millennium Falcon. Luke pulled back.

" Rey!" he yelped, digging his heels into the dirt path. "Tell me what is going on!"

Rey spun towards him nearly colliding with the old Jedi. Tears threatened to spill from the corner of her eyes.

"I'm so sorry." She gulped back a sob. "I've done something terrible!"

...

Luke listened patiently while his student spilled out everything, her words tumbling out, rough and rocky. He had insisted they have this discussion inside. He was an old man. An old man who preferred to be well asleep at night, not cold and running through the dark. He rubbed his eyes wearily as she paused to breath. He cut her off before she could start apologizing again.

"Rey, it's alright." He got up with a slight groan to pace around the room. He thought deeply. His student needed him. Needed guidance. He felt inadequate...and tired. He sighed.

"A force bond is an unusual occurrence but not unheard of." He finally started.

Rey wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "Force bond?"

He continued. "Sometimes those who are particularly strong with the Force pull each other into a connection of sorts. A link. Some even say that its the Force itself, drawing together those with a mutual destiny. It doesn't happen very often. Maybe once in a millennium. Most in the Jedi Order thought it was a legend." He paused "Frankly, I thought it was one."

He thought for a minute more. Of the connection Of his nephew Ben waiting at the other side of it. He had failed him. He knew that. That was part of the reason he was so careful with Rey. They were so similar. So eager to belong. To believe in something. A part of him recoilded at the this new found...thing. He fought the urge to shut her away from it. Forbid it but that had been the same mistake he had made with his nephew. He had shut him out and isolated him. Made him a target for the darkness. He wouldn't do that with Rey. This was a chance to change.

He straightened. Let her explore the Force. The Jedi code was old and rigid. Lonely. A large part of him wanted more for his lanky headstrong student. A small part wanted more for his nephew.

This could be good if he let it.

He crossed over to sit beside her.

"I trust the Force." He said half smiling. "And I trust you, if the Force has brought you this rare chance, treat it like the gift it is."

"But he's!" She swallowed her brow crinkling.

" My nephew..." He shrugged " ...and a very misguided and foolish man. I'm aware of what he is."

" but the First Order!" She protested. The crinkle creased further.

He patted her shoulder. "The Force has always been a bit of a mystery but it has lead me clear of danger so far. I may be old but I can still sense when I am being hunted and all I sense now is that its time for me to sleep." He chuckled stifling a yawn.

" It'll be fine." He smiled giving her shoulder a squeeze.


	8. Chapter 8

Rey strained, whipping the light saber in hand in a wide quick arc, sweat beading on her hairline.

Master Luke was wrong. This connection was not a "gift." It was a _curse._

She should have never have reached out for that monster. She screamed out her frustration as she swept through saber maneuvers in a frenzied haste. Frustration salted the tip of her tongue. Just like every other time they'd encountered each other this had ended no differently.

It always ended in battle.

He had been taunting her all day. Sending little jabs through the hum. Jabs that showed how he was hunting for her. Flashes of the cliffs in the south isles. A mental image of a porg colony huddled against the wind. With each one she knew he was getting closer.

Oh how she hated him. She swung the saber down hard. Hated him! Hated the cold mask with its synthesized voice. Hated the man underneath with his blazing eyes.

She felt another one of his jabs. _I can still teach you_ it said. Rey arched the saber as if to cut the silent thought in two. She had had enough.

She conjured him up. Dropped down on the stony clearing and reached into the hum. She let the Force sweep him together in broad strokes like saber arcs. Let him form in her mind, climbing up the steep path of a rocky cliff side, hair slick with sweat and tied up out of his eyes and she struck.

"Get out of my head." She hissed. She opened herself up let him see her sitting against the rock face that looked like any other.

She could picture him there, far off, turning for a half second as if she might be there just over his shoulder.

" So you'll finally speak to me." He stated blandly, face neutral.

" Only so I'll never have to speak to you again." She huffed.

A strange look grimaced over her enemies face. He almost looked hurt. Then unexpectedly his lips tightened into taunt smile.

A snorting sound almost like a laugh left him in a startling burst. "I'll take what I can get." He barked.

Rey sat stunned.

They stood there on opposite ends of the bond. Not speaking just feeling out the connection. A breeze ruffled through her hair. She tucked a renegade strand back into place. She could see his lips parting as if to say something as he watched her before he swallowed it away. She shivered.

"Why is it you?" She questioned, more to herself than anything.

He swallowed again. His eyes narrowed in thought. "I'm not sure." He admitted.

He continued "I'd like to speak with you.." he shifted self consciously in the rocky gravel. "There's something about...this.." His thought trailed off unfinished. He looked down.

She could feel her breath shallow. This wasn't what she was expecting.

She closed her eyes and reached, letting the Force surround her. When she opened her eyes she felt an answer. She sent it out.

"Okay, let's talk."


	9. Chapter 9

It had taken considerable effort to search the island and the connection for the scavenger girl. Thankfully though his physical search had been fruitless, he had still found her, or more accurately she had found him, but regardless she was speaking to him. It was a start. It was progress. He could even see her over the connection, slightly hazy, leaning against a rocky surface that obscured her location. He clicked his tongue in a mixture of annoyance and admiration. She was clever.

Now that he had her he faltered on what to do. She was willing to talk but what to say? They were still enemies.

" Are you training?" He finally lobbed. It was more an offer than a question.

"Not with you." She swatted the question away glaring.

He bristled. "You said you would talk!" His voice rising.

" I am talking." She spat. "But I'm not telling a murderer anything."

He could feel rage bubbling in his gut. He gritted his teeth. "I had a duty."

"To hurt and kill my friends?" she shouted anger flaring in her eyes.

His nostrils flared "This is war." He growled.

"He was your father!"

He could feel the rage rising. White spots flashed in front of his eyes. The words ripped from his throat in a strangled roar.

"You know nothing!"

Rage washed over him. His clenched his fist- his mind blank. He could see her startled and shocked, riveted still with fear despite the miles between them. He didn't care. He lashed out.

"You are a child." He shot, voice dripping with anger. "An insignificant scavenger from a backwater planet stuck in the Outer Rim. You know nothing!"

She recoiled. He could tell that he had wounded. He instantly was washed with an unfamiliar feeling. It almost felt like regret.

"I..." he stumbled. She cut him off.

"I know what I _am_ and where I'm _from._ " She said measuredly.

Suddenly it hit him. She slammed into him with a barrage of memories. He staggered feet skidding for purchase in the rocky path as it washed over him in agonizing waves.

It was all there. The searing pain of a kick to the ribs guarding an engine part. The sting of blisters forming over calluses while scrubbing scraps. Gnawing hunger mixed with exhaustion after a fruitless day. A nauseous disgusting feeling of being leered at. Skin prickling with cold at night only to be assaulted by the radiation of sweltering desert days. Most of all, the feeling that made him collapse to his knees, gasping for breath and eyes watering was the overwhelming crushing blow of being alone and loveless.

He reeled and gasped for air, his breath ragged and torn. "Please.." he gasped "Stop!"

She paused. The waves receded. Softly she murmured, " Even backwater scavengers know what is right and wrong...You hurt people."

He sat shaky and stunned. He looked up. His eyes looked out at her over the hum, heavy with emotion.

"I shouldn't have said that.." he said hoarsely, voice ragged and raw with remorse.

He sighed heavily and slumped down on the path. He needed to do something or they would keep on warring forever.

"I don't want to fight you. Not like this." He admitted.

She shifted "Then what do you want? Why are you looking for me? Is it Luke? I won't let you hurt him."

"No." It was true. He didn't care about the old Jedi. Let him and his Code rot. He felt a pang of desperation. What was it he wanted from this scavenger girl?

He said the words slowly as if each one had to be pried out of himself. "I just want to understand - this." He motioned towards the humming connection of the the Force between them. "The Force is calling me to you and I followed." That was it he realized. It was simple. Simple and more importantly-true.

"I do too." She admitted. "But what do you think finding me will do?" She asked warily.

He wasn't sure. He told her so. There was no point in denying her answers.

She thought for a minute, her eyes pained with concentration. She spoke her thoughts slowly.

" If I agree to meet with you...will you let me stay here?"

His answer was immediate.

"Yes, you have my word."

She thought some more. He held his breath.

"There's a cluster in the southern sea." She said. "There's a decent trade port there. I can meet you there in three days."

He nodded agreeing with this plan. He would do this on her terms. It was easier than charging and scouring his way to nowhere.

She turned her head at a far off sound.

"I need to go. I _will_ meet you." She warned "-so stay out of my head."

"I'll try." He promised. She nodded and then she was gone. He shivered as he stood up and shook the dirt from himself. The air felt empty without her.


	10. Chapter 10

Rey stood up and shook out the stiffness in her legs and arms before heading up the trail towards the summoning call of her teacher. She wondered what he would think of her choice. Should she even tell him?

He was waiting for her at the top of the trail, grinning as the breeze ruffled his scratchy grey hair. Behind him stood a tall and imposing mass of honey brown fur.

A reflexive grin splashed across her face. "Chewbacca!" She beamed running up the last of the path to rush him into a hug. The gentle smuggler closed large furry arms around her and yodeled out a warm greeting in his native tongue.

Luke grinned at her as she pulled away. "He's come by to take us for supplies." He said. "We're running low on fuel." His face suddenly turned more serious. "In light of your new, communications, I thought it might be wise to refrain from using the Falcon. It's too recognizable."

She nodded agreeing. This was perfect. She looked up at Chewbacca with a smile. She knew once she told him her plans he would help. The smuggler always had her back. A thought stopped her.

"We?" She asked. "You're coming too?"

Another smile. "Don't sound so surprised. We hermits get restless too. I need some adjustments in my hand. The sea air takes its toll."

Panic rose up slightly in her stomach. She forced it down. Luke motioned to her and the trio set off to prepare for the outing.

Rey bit her lip. This was not perfect.

—

They landed smoothly. Rey's stomach twisted with the descending altitude and ascending worry. She had not told either of her companions about her meeting the Knight of Ren. She felt a pang of guilt.

She would just have separate from them. The settlement was large. Surely it couldn't be that hard to meet her nemesis and keep him clear of her friends. She coughed clearing her throat. Her companions turned towards her.

"Um...would it be alright if I went on my own this time?" She asked hesitantly. "There's a part I want for the comms on the Falcon. I'd like to be able to have an encrypted way to reach Finn." It wasn't exactly a lie. She did want the part. She did want to talk to Finn. There would just be a slight detour.

Luke looked at Chewbacca. "It can be dangerous to separate.." he worried.

Chewbacca looked at her with a curious expression. They held each others gaze for a moment then he laughed slightly and turned to the old Jedi and rattled to him with a purring voice thick with humor.

Lukes eyes widened. "Ah I see, yes I suppose young ladies need..things."

Rey cringed inwardly. They had jumped to an unfortunate conclusion. Still she needed to get away so she decided to go with it. She smiled awkwardly.

"I knew I couldn't hide from you." She chuckled embarrassedly as Chewbacca ruffled her hair with a large paw. She turned to look at Luke. "May I go?" She asked sheepishly.

Luke laughed dryly. "Of course, we'll find a place where you can meet us later."

Chewbacca turned to ready the ship for their final landing. Rey breathed a sigh of relief.

—

Kylo Ren felt nervous. He paced outside on a small canteen pulling distractedly at his the shirt of his tunic. He felt underdressed and vulnerable without all of his layers but he knew he couldn't just walk around in full regalia and expect to go unnoticed.

He had shed down to the dark but simple inner layers of his robes. A simple dark grey tunic over black spun cotton pants. He had left the lightsaber on the ship. A risk but he wanted this meeting to work and looking at the inhabitants, he doubted that any would be difficult to dispatch away by Force.

He felt the hum surge. He reached out his thoughts smoothing it out for her.

"I'm here." She said "where are you?"

He opened himself up so she could see the little street corner he was pacing. "I'm in the eastern district."

"Ah good, I know that place." She answered. "Go wait in the canteen and I'll meet you there."

He felt absurd. _So they were meeting for drinks now?_ He frowned.

She clicked her tongue in annoyance at his hesitation. "Just do it." She commanded. "I'll be there in a bit."

He turned and stepped into the canteen. His eyes squinting to adjust to the sudden shadows. After his eyes adjusted he spied a seat far in the back. He strolled over purposefully and claimed it with a thud. He rested his head on his hands with a slump and waited. He hoped this was worth it.


	11. Chapter 11

Time seemed to slow as Rey stepped hesitantly over the thresh hold of the canteen. The tawny notes of bar room music faded as her ears flushed. She looked around the room nervously. She almost missed him slumped in a back booth, nursing a drink with a half asleep look of boredom. She steeled herself and walked over and slid into the opposite booth.

He started at her sudden arrival almost tipping his drink. He reflexively caught the glass and the spilling liquid with a flick of the Force and returned it wobbling into the glass.

She reached out to grab it. "Don't do that here." She warned glancing around the room. No one had noticed.

He glanced down at her hand his face clearing as he registered the meaning of her words. "Ah right." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

They sat for a long minute in awkward silence.

"So..."

"So..." they both started.

He was looking at her. Nervously he swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. She wrinkled her brow distracted at the movement. His neck was bare. She couldn't remember a time when he hadn't been bundled up in the protective layers of his First Order robes. Her eyes shifted to the collar of his tunic. His collar bone peeked out just underneath, pink and smooth as a shell. She forced her eyes away.

"Thank you for coming." His voice deep and throaty. He gently took the drink back from her hand and laced both hands around it steeling it and himself to the table.

"How long have you felt this connection?" He asked. He was getting straight to the point. Rey swallowed.

"Ever since the day on the ship." She said quietly. She didn't like to think about the day she had first seen him without the mask.

He nodded. "Me too." Rey shifted and recoiled as her leg brushed against his boot. They were too close. She could feel her breath getting shallow.

He sensed her discomfort and scooted back giving her a few inches. A hint of pink rose on his cheekbones. He slid the glass over out of his way. He continued.

" We know we can communicate through this..." he struggled to find a word.

"Force bond." She blurted.

He snorted. "That's a child's fable."

" Is it?" She countered "sounds pretty similar to what's happening here." She motioned between them.

He wrinkled his brow. "Fine this..bond. We can communicate through it. Send memories too. How far does it go though? I can't have you spying in my head."

She prickled at the suggestion. "I don't want you spying either."

He rolled his eyes. "So how do we tell how far this goes? I need to know."

She leaned back and struggled to think. She rubbed her temples. She could feel a headache forming. Suddenly he reached across the table his hand outreached.

"What are you doing?" She grumbled.

"I want to try something." He said firmly. He motioned with his hand in a silent summons to take it. She glared at him.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He edged his hand closer. "...or spy on you. Come here."

She sighed and reached out placing her hand in his. He wasn't wearing his usual gloves. His hands were warm and rough. Her hand drowned in his. She blushed.

He closed his eyes, concentrating. Suddenly she felt the Force wash over her temples. She could feel the pain easing.

She exhaled a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. His eyes opened. A awkward smile flitted briefly on his lips.

"Feel better?" He asked.

"Yeah." She looked down at their hands still entwined. She started to pull away. His fingers closed around hers keeping her there.

"That answered a lot of questions." He said, his eyes locked with hers. "But I need to try something else now. May I?"

Rey could feel her face flush. She nodded quickly her shoulders tensing. "Okay" She managed.

His second hand reached over and cupped her's between both of his. She could feel his pulse through his fingertips. She felt him in her head.

He spoke to her there. It felt like he was whispering a secret in her ear. It tickled. She wiggled her nose slightly at the sensation.

His eyes were closed again with concentration. He spoke into her.

"I'm going to let you in. I need to see how far this can go."

"You're going to let me spy on you?" She whispered.

"If you want to call it that." He countered annoyed. He closed his eyes again.

"Okay go ahead."

She steeled herself and let herself fall into the bond. It pulled her in. She spun in a rushing current of memories. She saw glimpses of his mother, the cold walls of a First Order starship, the annoying flash of red hair on a hated scalp. She struggled for purchase but the current dragged her for what seemed like an eternity before it threw her.

She fell skidding into one of his memories stunned and shaken. She stood up and turned.

Suddenly he was there or at least a version of him was. A memory phantom of him. He was standing as he had been during their last encounter. She looked around. They were standing in the frosty forest that had been their last battle field but unlike that memory the cliffs and hills remained intact.

He came up to her. She stood riveted as his hand reached to brush the snow off her face.

"It is you.." the phantom cooed breathlessly as his gloved hand trailed over her cheek. She shivered from the cold and his touch. Reflexively she felt her hand cover his and hold him there. _What was she doing?_

She blinked and in that sightless moment he leaned in and covered her mouth with his own. She gasped in surprise at the soft sensation and he pulled her in, his arms encircling her waist. He was warm and solid. Rey's head spun at the sensation of his mouth caressing her lips- sweet and careful. She could feel a damp stirring deep down. Her eyes closed as she leaned in surrendering. He pulled her closer. She felt a small moan escape her. _This wasn't a memory._

 _This wasn't a memory!_

She broke back in a gasp, cold air filling her lungs and crisping in her mind. She pushed hard on his chest, fighting to separate herself from him in a panic. The phantom yelped in surprise as if he had just realized she was there in his arms.

"Where is this?!" The phantom stammered looking around wildly. "How did you get here? I didn't.." His voice rose with panic. "I didn't realize this was here."

She recoiled still locked in his arms. This wasn't just some memory of Kylo Ren. This was him and some kind of secret strange desire...her mind fell blank. This was too much.

She pulled herself out of his reach and pulled for the Force, drawing it up around herself like a barricade. The cliffs around them cracked and fell just like they had in the real memory. She closed her eyes and opened them. She was back in the canteen. He was sitting across from her stunned- eyes slightly glazed.

"Wait!" He gasped realizing, the spell breaking, a wild look in his eyes. She ripped her hand out of his and bolted out of her seat. Her face blazed. He attempted to rise after her. She backed away and darted for the door. She slammed her eyes shut and ran until her legs collapsed under her.


	12. Chapter 12

The Knight of Ren slammed his fist on the table in frustration, knocking over the last of a lukewarm drink. A few canteen patrons glanced over curious. He shot them a laser edged glare. Their curiosity evaporated under its intensity. He turned weaving through tables and dashed into the street. There was no trace of her.

He cursed under his breath. He could feel his temper flaring and crackling with desperate frustration. He cupped his face in his hands to dampen the sound of a snarling howl that threatened to erupt from his throat.

For the first time in his life, the Force, the one thing he could count on, was starting to frustrate him. Rey frustrated him. The bond went deep. Too deep and she...

He scanned over the crowd but there was no trace of the headstrong scavenger. His tongue ran unconsciously over his lips and he shivered slightly at the remnant memory of her mouth complying to his.

He had surprised himself. After all these years of training and warring he felt an ache stirring. He hadn't realized what that ache had meant until the little scavenger had pried it out of him and polished it. _With her lips_ he thought ruefully. He brushed the intrusive thought away. It was juvenile. Unbecoming for a wielder of the Dark Side. The scavenger...Rey unlocked something inside him and he had just sent her bolting away from him because of it. His lips curled in hurt annoyance. He knew they were enemies but still...he sighed and rocked on his heels. He needed to find her-again.

He leaned back into a corner of the rough adobe walls of the alleyway and closed his eyes. He reached out with the Force as far as he could manage. It took some fumbling but he felt her faintly towards the west. He opened his eyes and took off towards the faint feeling of the connection between them. His long legs quickly finding their way into a sprint as he weaved through the crowd.

She could run all she liked. He would still find her.

—

It had been a few hours since Rey had taken off, dashing away in panic. That panic had soon slowed to a numbing dread. She had wandered through the market, found the some of the "items" she had originally claimed to have needed. She didn't like lying to Luke and Chewbacca. A half truth she could live with. Even if it had been yet another mistake.

 _You liked it though_ the thought carbonated and bubbling in her mind. She shook it out and let it pop, disappearing with a ticklish fizzle. She didn't. No way. It was impossible. They were...something more to each other now but not that. Never that.

She could still feel the ghost of the phantom encounter. Feel the specter cling and warmth of muscular arms steeling her against broad everything. She clenched her fist.

She needed a drink.

She bartered herself a flask. The liquid inside burned on the way down but it would do. She walked down into an alleyway and found some steps to sit on. It was quieter than the main market road and empty. She took a swig and gagged.

What did she want from Kylo Ren? Did she want to save him? Is that why she kept coming back? Poking and prodding at the man despite every instinct she had from years on Jakku telling her to leave it be, that it wasn't worth it. There was nothing in him for her or was there? What did she think she would find?

All she had found so far was a contradiction of a man. A man who made her stomach twist in unexpected ways. A man to whom her body and the Force drew her towards even as she rationally fought to pull herself away. It didn't make sense.

She raised the flask to take another swig of the disgusting but numbing concoction but before she could raise it to her lips she felt it slip fast and hard out of her hand as it whooshed supernaturally across the alleyway into the hands on the last man in the galaxy she wanted to see.

Kylo Ren stole her sip and half choked. He grimaced the burning aftertaste evident on his tongue.

She leaped up seething. "That's mine." She yelled glaring. She was done with this connection. She wanted to fight.

"I can take what I want." He smirked eyeing her cooly.

Rey unhooked her light saber and lunged.


	13. Chapter 13

He knocked the saber from her hands, the tonic spurting out of the flask in a silvery arc that splashed over his arm. She countered un-phased and landed a upward hook into his chin. It hurt.

He grabbed at her arm and swung her around, locking her back and arms against his chest. That's when the familiar dark wave of icy beckoning washed over him.

It was his master. Snoke was calling him through the Force.

Rey struggled in his grip. Probably attempting to kick him he assumed wryly. He gripped his arms around her tighter and looked away. Snoke was a master at spying through the Darker side of the Force but he had limitations. Kylo Ren had made sure of that. He had learned to block off portions of himself. Parts that he made sure Master Snoke's smoke like Force wielding couldn't reach. The hum had been one of them.

The hum was too light, it vibrated too warmly. Ever since he had first felt it shimmering on the edge of himself he had carefully blocked it away in a place where he knew his master would never find it. He had rationalized that it was too grey to show to Snoke, that his master would have been disappointed. Now he knew better. He gripped Rey tighter. She managed to land a kick under his knee. The pulling call from his master creeped closer.

He could feel her trying to break through the hum into his head. He couldn't let her. She couldn't shout around in his head where Snoke could easily find her. He knew Snoke wanted the scavenger girl. He always lusted after strong force users. Wasn't that why Kylo was where he was now? He had to do something. He needed to hide her. Somewhere he knew he could keep her hidden away.

He pulled her in close. As he pulled he reached through the hum and grabbed _her_. He gathered her up and tucked her away into the parts of his head that were safe. He felt her body slacken in his arms as she fell unconscious. He whispered a silent apology into her hair.

Snoke spoke. The shadows of the supreme leader of the First Order's voice echoed in Kylo Ren's head.

" I believe you owe me an explanation." The voice said.

—

Rey was reliving one of the worst memories she had and the worst part of it was that she wasn't even in her own version of it.

She had felt Kylo close in around her and then everything had gone black. When she awoke she was hovering over herself as she watched Kylo scoop her unconscious body up and carry it onboard a First Order ship. She watched as he gently buckled her into a passenger seat, as he held off curious troopers and crew. She saw the moment they had landed, when him and the red haired general had argued about how to interrogate her. The red head had a more aggressive suggestion and the Knight of Ren had lashed out, choking the man briefly with the Force. She saw the horrifying moment she was laid in the interrogation chair and how he had come and knelt-and waited.

Suddenly she felt herself awaken, again, in the chair. It was jarring to suddenly be herself in the room with him, or at least the phantom memory, so close with that horrible mask staring up at her.

"Where am I?" She felt herself ask. Again.

"You are my guest" the specter synthesized just as she had remembered.

 _Surely you must have found the girl by now._

An icy voice spoke as if far away. Rey shivered and looked around trying to pinpoint where it was coming from. She saw the phantom stiffen under the mask.

"Where are the others?" She felt herself asking distractedly. The words tumbled out automatically and mechanically. She was stuck in this horrible memory.

The phantom repeated every chilling exasperating word he had uttered before. As he spoke she could hear his voice somewhere else far away. It was steely and tense.

 _I haven't_ the voice said _I've searched and she is nowhere to be found._

The icy voice replied. Rey strained to hear.

 _Your performance has been...disappointing in regards to the girl. Surely a little desert scavenger shouldn't be this difficult to find if she is as strong as you say she is._

Rey swallowed. They were talking about her.

The phantom of Kylo Ren spoke pulling her back into the memory. Away from the voices.

"You still want to kill me."

Rey braced herself. She knew what came next. She bit her lip and stared at the mirage of the man in front of her.

"That's what happens when you're being hunted by a creature in a mask."

The mirage exhaled. She could see his shoulders relax. He reached up and unhooked the mechanism on his visor and pulled the helmet off in one fluid motion. Dark curls tumbled out. He looked up at her.

Stars above, how she hated this part. The moment when the monster morphed into the man. He looked at her with the same curious eyes and then his expression changed slightly. It was determined and almost gentle.

Rey squinted. She could have sworn she almost saw a scar travel across his face. That was impossible. He had been perfect. Perfect and beautifully terrifying in this moment.

He turned to ask her about the droid. She looked away reciting the specification of BB8 on autopilot. She strained to hear the far off voices. She could only catch pieces but the voices were louder.

"Neither are on the planet." It was Kylo's voice broken and tired.

"I'm growing tired of this.." the icy voice replied in fragmented frozen shards.

Kylo leaned in or at least the mirage of him did. These memories of his were strange. They felt so real. She could feel the warm ticklish tingle of his breath on the soft spot behind her ear.

"You're so lonely"

She flinched bracing herself for the inevitable moment when he reached into her mind invading her innermost thoughts.

Instead she felt a push. An image entering her mind eye. Her ocean. As calm and serene as ever. It was comforting. It wasn't right.

She shouldn't be feeling comforted. He had taken the island from her not given it to her. She looked up at the face of the mirage. Her eyes widened. He was looking at her with the strangest look. She had never looked last time not when he was reaching into her. It was a soft look. It almost looked affectionate.

She couldn't hear the voices anymore. She strained to listen but she was cut off. She was trapped here in this memory. He had trapped her.

She growled. She wasn't going to sit here in Kylo Ren's head a minute longer. She reached for the Force, drawing it up around her and pushed. The phantom of him pushed back. This was how the memory always ended but this time Rey pushed harder. He held her back harder.

"Don't be afraid.." the phantom started.

Rey didn't let him finish.

"I feel it too." She pushed as hard as she could and everything fell black.


	14. Chapter 14

Rey was strong. Holding her back had been extraordinarily difficult. Somehow he had managed. The icy presence of Snoke faded just had she had slipped through his grasp. It had been close. He slumped back against the cool stucco wall of the alleyway and looked down at the girl propped up against his shoulder. A soft moan escaped as her brow wrinkled. She was still out. He was worn out. She had broken away from his hold and since then her mind had been inaccessible. The only thing that eased the worry creeping colder than Snoke's voice in his veins was the hum sparking faintly on his shoulder where her cheek lay. The connection was still there. She was still there. It was only a matter of time before she woke up.

A stray strand of her dust hued hair slipped down, threatening to tickle her nose. He brushed it away with a hesitantly quivering hand. Her crinkled brow eased away under his fingertips. He pulled his hand away and pulled his knees into himself, quarantining his hands under his kneecaps. He drew a sharp breath.

He exhaled an invisible cloud of frustration. Snoke, as always, had a point. He had been neglecting the First Order.

He was spending more and more time chasing the scavenger girl and the old jedi. Time that had yielded little results that the First Order would accept as successful progress.

He knew he couldn't go much longer without it. Something tangible. Proof that he was still the Jedi Killer Snoke needed him to be. Their force wielder, their weapon. Power was slipping from his hand like sand. He knew he was wasting resources that weren't really his. His power was all borrowed- with Master Snoke's favor as the credit. That credit wouldn't last forever. The only real power he had was his ability with the Force but even that might not be enough any longer.

 _Especially since you're here now_ he thought looking down at Rey. Her eyelids fluttered with the movement of dreams. Still asleep. She was strong. She could easily be his equal possibly even superior if she was trained. Her raw power was mesmerizing.

Her cheek nuzzled his shoulder slightly as she shifted in her sleep. Kylo clenched his jaw and looked away. He could feel his heart hammering through his teeth.

—

It took all of her effort to pull herself out of the blackness. She had fallen to a deep dark place where memories long forgotten slumbered. She could see herself, herself outside of herself hovering above in the murky haze. She fought pulling and grabbing up towards herself, willing everything in her to wake up.

 _Wake up!_

Rey awoke with a start. Her cheek brushed against warm spun cotton and something firm. She reached up and rubbed the blur out of her eyes. As she rubbed the dust of sleep away she fumbled for purchase to prop herself up. Under the cotton and firmness fluttered a pulse. Confused she gripped the support tighter. It recoiled slightly under her grip, shifting.

It was an arm. The owner of the arm spoke.

"Let go of my shirt." A deep familiar voice rumbled.

Wide awake now, she looked up towards the voice, her eyes widening. It only took a millisecond to realize whose arm she was clinging to. She dropped Kylo Ren's arm and scurried backwards, scrambling to get on her feet.

He eyed her cooly then rose to get up. "Looks like you're back in one piece."

Rey gritted her teeth. She was done. Force bond be damned. The arrogance, the invasions, she'd had enough. She turned on her heel and walked off.

She could hear him utter the start of a protest. She didn't care. She braced her shoulders and picked up her pace. She could hear footsteps behind her. She felt for her lightsaber and gripped the handle.

Suddenly she felt a tug on her shoulder where the satchel she'd been wearing from the market had been strapped. She felt it rip away. She turned to grab it back but the pull was too strong. The satchel ripped at the seams and the contents tumbled into the dusty street.

A mountain of her "items" and her communicator piece lay sprawled between her and the bewildered Knight of Ren. His face flushed a solid crimson when he realized the _nature_ of the items. His mouth gaped as he tried to think of something to say.

Rey bent and started to shovel them back inside the satchel. She didn't look at him. She wouldn't look at him.

She started as he dropped down beside her and started scooping them one by one into the bag. He worked determined his face frozen and flushed. He looked ridiculous surrounded by a sea of plastic wrapping.

A laugh bubbled out before she could stop it. It rippled up until she gripped her sides paralyzed by it. Her eyes watered.

She looked up as a quiet chuckled joined her own. He had stopped scooping and his head was thrown back as his shoulders hitched with mirth. His teeth flashed as a brief smile flashed across his face. He quickly raised a hand to cover it.

She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and grinned. Then she squared her self and inhaled. He paused to look at her.

"What is it you want? I can't tell you where Luke is." She paused and swallowed. "I can't bring you with me if that's what you're after. No one can fix what you've done." Her voice steeled at the ends.

"I don't want that." He said his eyes locked with hers.

"Then why?" She huffed. "Why do you keep finding me?"

"I don't know. I just do. I feel like I have to." He hung his head. His dark curls brushing the tips of his nose. There were too many feelings trapped in those too few words. The excess tumbled over the hum. He looked back up at her. She could see the reflection of herself blurring in the dark pools of his irises.

His eyes focused to meet hers and softened. He reached over and tied at the rip in the satchel. He held her gaze.

"Sometimes..." he hesitated slightly before continuing, "when you're young, you make choices."

His voice firmed. "...and those choices make choices for you later on that you weren't aware you would have to make. You can't go back. You come too far and when that happens you have to finish."

"No." She protested "You don't."

His lips flickered with a small grim smile. His eyes held her's. His voice was rough and heavy.

"No." He whispered hoarsely tying off a knot. "You do."

He pulled away from her and tossed the satchel back to her. He stood to leave. She couldn't accept what he had said. He had spent all this time just to find her, only to spout nonsense at her, poke in her head and walk away?

She reached out over the hum and pushed into his head. It was a gentle push but firm. He let her in slowly in small doses, trying not to overwhelm her but Rey could still feel herself slowly suffocating in memory. Alone in the dark, shivering with the chill of loneliness, a voice rich and smooth and dark whispering. A voice beckoning, suggesting, curling and entwining around her head, his head, until all they could think were it's thoughts. The shock of uncovering a hidden truth. How it had changed everything. The sting of betrayal as those they loved, who they thought loved them, looked down with wariness and fear glazing in their eyes.

She recognized that look. It was the look Master Luke gave her when she pushed too far. Her mouth felt dusty and dry. She tried to swallow but her throat was lined with sandy sadness.

"I..." she wavered. Sorrow threatening to spill from her as her eyes met his. He took a step back.

" These aren't excuses." He said grimly, " I still made my choices."

Tears escaped, spilling over her cheeks. She pulled the corner of her robe up and furiously wiped them away.

She understood.


	15. Chapter 15

The girl from Jakku carried a strangely familiar scent with her as she boarded the old beaten ship. Chewbacca warbled inquisitively at the girl as she slid into the seat behind him and Luke.

 _Where have you been?_

She smiled coyly up at the furry old smuggler. She raised up her satchel her smile widening to a grin.

" The market," she grinned "stopped by the canteen in the eastern district."

The smuggler grumbled out a rumbling chuckle. He had stopped by many a canteen in his youth. He smiled at the memories. Still he couldn't shake that familiar smell. What had the little desert girl picked up at that canteen?

Luke spoke leaning around him to address the girl. "You're late," he chided "We almost left without you."

Chewbacca laughed again at his old jedi friend's idle threat. _We wouldn't leave you behind._ He smirked raising a fuzzy eyebrow at his greying friend.

Rey smiled up at him. "Thanks, I know _you_ wouldn't." She said eyeing Luke ruefully.

She adjusted her safety harness as Chewbacca began the assent and started a course back to the island.

—

Kylo cursed under his breath as a spark flew from the circuit panel in front of him and singed his upper sleeve. He was never going to get this control panel back together.

The engineers on the ship had refused to fix the aftermath of another of Kylo's tantrums, as General Hux had so condescendingly labeled them when referring to his outbursts during their mutual meeting with Master Snoke. The Supreme Leader had been disappointed at his lack of discipline. Disappointment seemed to be a reoccurring theme these days. General Hux gloating and smug had left the control panels of the interrogation room broken. Unfortunately they were still needed and so Kylo was stuck cursing at computer chips as he struggled to undo his own damage.

He sighed and leaned back against the cool metal of the ship walls. He closed his eyes and reached over the hum. He had been doing it so often now that it was reflexive. The scavenger girl was there on the other side, practicing saber forms. He grinned reflexively.

"Lower and relax your elbows," he smirked "You look like you're frozen in carbonite."

The desert girl frowned at him but adjusted herself before taking another swing. "So you're back again." She swung the saber in a wide and brilliant arc. "Terrorizing planets isn't enough entertainment for you?" She spat.

"No, not nearly as interesting." He agreed wryly.

She swung the saber over her shoulder in a downward sweep then spun and disengaged her lightsaber. She clipped it to her belt and scrambled up on top of a boulder.

"I don't like you spying on me while I practice." She chided.

"You should just let me help you." He flipped the computer chip in his hands fidgeting.

" That wasn't the agreement." She huffed.

He nodded. They had gone their separate ways after their meeting on that isolated little hideaway of a planet. He had let her go. Returned her to the old Jedi and had left to return to the First Order. He had returned her but he hadn't given up the bond. She had found his intrusions uncomfortable and they had butted heads but finally they had agreed on some ground rules for the bond between them and the abilities it rendered. It was a short list.

The bond was for talking not prying- he could reach out to her but not into her. He had to stay out of her head and out of her life. That was her rule not his. He didn't really care if she looked.

There was no war inside the bond- He wouldn't gain information on the Resistance and she wouldn't gain anything on the First Order.

He frowned down at the chip in his hands. He held it up to the light and peered at the circuitry. He opened up the hum so that Rey could see it too- if she wanted. "Did you ever fix anything on that little planet of your's or did you just find it?" He knew he was being rude but her response was more likely if she was a little angry. Rey was always ready for a fight. He liked that about her. He admired her spirit. It was strangely infectious.

Just like he knew she would, she reached over the hum and peered at the chip. It was almost the same sensation as if she had been leaning over his shoulders. He turned the chip in his palm so she could get a look at the back.

" That's a communicator chip. It relays data. It's not broken. They pop right back into place." The edge was gone from her voice. Only the perky lilt of interest remained. Kylo filed this information away. He would have to find more things to fix.

"This place?" He said shrugging "any idea what it would look like?"

She crinkled her brow thinking. He could see her across the hum shifting as she sat on the boulder, leaning forward as if he was somehow there in front of her.

"They should have the same shape as the chip."

He grinned slightly. "Good to see your time on Jakku wasn't a waste."

Rey wrinkled her nose at his snide comment. Suddenly a thought struck her. She leaped off the boulder in a panic.

"You're not building something are you? I'm not going to have you trick me into helping the First Order!"

Kylo burst into a short barking laugh. "See for yourself." He opened the hum wider so she could see the wreckage around him.

She snapped at the chance and peered through. "What happened?" She asked dazed.

Kylo sighed "I happened." He found the slot for the chip and poked it back in place. Rey shuddered.

Kylo smirked. "The First Order doesn't gain an upper hand by my fixing something we already had."

Rey pursed her lips. "Maybe, but it doesn't give you a disadvantage either." She started walking down the dirt patch down the cliffs.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"I'm going down to the _Falcon,_ " she quipped. "I managed to set up a com link with Finn."

It was Kylo's turn to wrinkle his nose. "The traitor." He had an odd burning sensation in his chest whenever he thought of the rogue stormtrooper and his close friendship with the scavenger girl.

Rey huffed. "Finn." She corrected. "And I'd like to talk to him _alone,_ he's my friend. I don't want you spying on him for the First Order."

"Fine." He angrily pushed another chip into place. "This will take me awhile anyway."

"Great" she said climbing down the path gingerly.

Kylo sighed. That path looked tricky. He looked back at the pile of parts waiting to be reassembled.

"I'll talk to you later." He said. It was more of a statement of fact than a parting sentiment. He saw her nod in acknowledgment as she braced herself against the stone of the cliff to lower herself down from a rocky patch. Better to leave her to concentrate. He needed to focus as well. He withdrew from the hum and turned back to the pile and reached for a cool metallic chip as the warmth of the bond faded from his mind.


	16. Chapter 16

Rey shivered at a sudden breeze as it washed over the cliff. She ducked into the entrance of the _Millennium Falcon_ and padded quickly up to the pilot deck. The red flash of the comms link flashed impatiently. Finn was already online.

Rey flopped into the seat in front of the comm and excitedly flipped the monitor on. A familiar face grinned back at her.

"Rey!"

Rey grinned back. She had missed him.

"Finn!" She called out, her voice rich with enthusiasm, "it's so good to see you awake! How're you feeling?"

His grin shifted sheepishly. He chuckled "I'm sore but well rested. Poe tells me I've been asleep for an eternity. I asked him about you as soon as I woke up." His grin faded around the edges slightly at the recollection. Even when disappointed Finn was all smiles. He looked down for a second then returned his gaze to the monitor they shared

"I was surprised the General sent you away so soon."

Rey sighed. "I'm so sorry Finn. It was important."

Finn shrugged "I figured."

His grinned brightened. "The rumor is that you found Luke Skywalker in the flesh! Is he as much of a legend as the mess hall makes him out to be?" His eyes twinkled. Rey laughed.

"I can't say for sure whether I did or not. There's no way of knowing if this comm is tapped...but if I did- I expect he would be decently legendary."

The comm crackled with the sound of laughter. She had missed Finn.

She told him about the island. About the impossible green and the rocky cliffs. Finn painted a perfect picture of the Resistance base with Poe strutting about, pilots and soldiers running around in a never ending flurry of activity while R2D2 and C3PO chattered constantly in the background. It sounded frantic- and fun.

Suddenly Finn paused during his description of a practical joke some of the pilots had played on C3PO and peered at Rey through the monitor.

" I don't know why but I feel like you're not telling me something...besides Luke I mean."

Rey tensed. Finn could be surprisingly perceptive at times. Her mind flashed to the humming bond that still hung in the back of her mind even now. The bond and the man who sat at the other end of it. She wet her lips. Should she tell Finn about Kylo?

Her confession to Master Luke had been disappointing and frustrating. He hadn't taken it as seriously as she hoped he would. She knew Finn would. Finn wouldn't push her away like Luke did. He'd take it seriously. Perhaps even too seriously. She didn't want to see her friend run recklessly into danger. Finn was always trying to protect her. Even when she didn't need it. Especially when she didn't need it.

Her meeting with Kylo in the marketplace had left her feeling shaken and off balance. As much as she loathed to admit it their occasional spares through the hum had become something almost...enjoyable wasn't the right word. _Interesting._ That was the closest she could get. It was a past time without rhyme or reason but one she carefully kept in the most guarded place inside herself.

Maybe she had spent too many days struggling through the same tired, sandy cycle on Jakku. Nevertheless, her bond with Kylo felt, however oddly, like something worth protecting, even from Finn, her first and best friend.

"There's a lot going on here I can't explain right now. I will someday," she managed, "I promise."

Finn nodded "Good enough for me Rey, I'm just glad I got to see you again."

Rey smiled. "Me too."

—

For the first time in a long time, Kylo Ren dreamed. Vividly, feverishly about the girl. About Rey.

He tossed and turned in his sleep as if struggling to escape the visions of the desert girl that swept through his head in bright flashes like stars going light speed.

In the mirage of sleep he saw her reaching up with slender fingers to undo the distinctive buns she wore. Her sandy brown hair gained a chestnut richness underneath as it tumbled down around her face in thick waves. When the last bun was pulled free she shook her hair out and let it fall over her suntanned shoulders. Kylo Ren chest tightened with a strange sensation. He couldn't tear his eyes away.

She turned and looked up in his direction. He froze. Slowly he saw her break into a brilliant smile. He stood dumbfounded. A million thoughts came in and went in an instant. He felt himself reaching for her and was seconds away from the smooth softness of her shoulders when Rey abruptly stood up. Her smile and eyes looked not at him but past him. She soon followed. He turned confused. Behind him was another man he had only seen once before and yet still instantly knew. Close cropped military cut black hair, dark smooth skin and more importantly the unmistakable energy.

FN-2187. The traitor. Kylo could feel a flickering of anger flaring in his stomach. It was soon extinguished by the system shocking feeling of despair as he watched Rey envelope the traitorous stormtrooper into a tight embrace. The stormtrooper brushed her hair with absent minded fingers as he held her close. She was clearly loved. They looked comfortable and happy.

Just as he could feel a anguished howl escaping the vision faded and he woke with a start. He sat up and shivered as the cool recycled air of his sleeping quarters mingled to evaporate the cold sweat that had accumulated during his restless sleep.

He threw off a thin blanket and stood up. He rubbed a hand roughly over his face and grimaced as calloused fingertips caught on the scratchy beginnings of stubble over his jaw.

He gritted his teeth and glanced absent minded at the metallic cowl of his helmet on the night stand. Of course she would never smile at him like that. The bond was a flimsy tie at best. He couldn't compare to the traitor. FN-2187... _Finn_ as she had called him was a friend. A friend you ran through the snow for. He was her enemy- a creature in a mask. She'd said it herself. He was someone you ran away from.

He reached over and ran fingertips over the metal edge of the visor. When it came to the little scavenger, he was being a fool. Foolishness was a death sentence in the First Order. The more leniency he gave these unexpected desires the more likely he would fall from Snoke's favor. _Living_ under his good graces was difficult enough.

His internal contemplation was interrupted by the far off sound of a stifled sob. He turned, almost expecting to find someone behind him but all that was there was an empty wall. A shaky breath that was not his own echoed in his head. As it echoed he felt the hum of the bond flare.

It was Rey. Instinctively he reached out and pulled the connection open as widely as he could get it.

He could see her sitting there curled up on that boulder where she liked to practice. Her shoulders shivered with the cool night air and sadness as she struggled to control her hitching breath. He stood there transfixed. Even in the moments when he had had her cornered, he had never seen her look so vulnerable.

She looked up and rested her chin on her knees. Tear tracks twinkled in the moonlight. She frowned.

"Are you just going to stand there?"

His lips parted as he stood confused. _Was she...speaking to him?_ He had always been the first to reach out. She never reached for him.

She scoffed and turned away. "I should never have called you."

Kylo Ren's eyes widened. He felt himself speak reflexively. "Wait!"

She turned back to look at him. A tear escaped and slipped down her face like a shooting star. He swallowed and sat back on the edge of his cot.

"You're crying." He started. _Brilliant start_ he thought ruefully.

Rey rolled her eyes. "Really? I hadn't noticed..." She wiped her nose on her sleeve.

He wasn't sure what to say. He had never envisioned himself in this moment. He had poured himself into training. For years he had given himself over to the Dark side. Consoling crying girls didn't really come with the territory.

"Why?" He started. She huffed in response.

"Why am I crying?" She bristled. "Is that what you're going to ask?"

"No." It wasn't. Whatever the reason, he was sure it was a good one. "Why did you call me?"

She smirked sadly. "Such a selfish question. Your first thought is always yourself." She paused then looked down at her tear soaked kneecaps. "But I'm selfish too so maybe that's why I called you."

Kylo leaned forward. "What do you mean?" His voice caught in his throat at the ends.

She looked up at him. His cheeks pinked. They could see each other over the bond. Hovering there in each other's mind.

"I called you because you'll get it. I've seen you. You've seen me and I don't have to try to explain any of this."

He wet his lips thinking. "You told me not to pry."

He watched her eyes trail over the lines of his face. "I changed my mind." She glanced away and nestled her cheek on her knees.

He took a deep breath to steady himself. Then in a swift and fluid motion he reached.


	17. Chapter 17

Rey gasped. He took from her too easily. A dull numbing pain swept over her. She inhaled sharply but before she could exhale it was gone. He had seen what she needed him to.

She blinked, the glaze melting from her eyes with a fluttered motion and peered back at him over the bond. Kylo Ren sat there thinking, breathing deep and slow from the effort. The shadows of his broad back dancing off in the cold metal reflections of the ships walls.

"He's afraid of you and that scares you." He murmured between breaths, more to himself than to her.

 _Exactly_ she thought. She felt the tension fall from her shoulders as if some great weight had been lifted, just by having the words spoken. She perched her chin on her knees again and studied him. The bond was the most open that either had ever allowed it to be and she could see him so clearly...

"You didn't tell your friend about us." He said suddenly. His breath evened.

She snorted. "There is no _us."_

He grimaced his face landing somewhere between a scowl and a smirk. "Pity."

His mouth creased into a tight line before he spoke again. His eyes bored into hers with that same dark intensity that she had remembered from their battle in the snow. She felt her cheeks warming under the gaze.

"They're all going to be afraid of you eventually. You're strong. Powerful. They won't understand." His voice was gentle but measured. His eyes glinted with the shards of old memories.

Rey huffed the thought away. "Luke maybe. Finn won't. He's my friend."

Kylo lifted an eyebrow in response. "Right... _your friend."_ He scowled, his voice hardening. "He's attracted to you."

Rey growled. "He's not like that."

Dark curls bounced as he shook his head. "Maybe" he shrugged. His expression softened. "He hasn't seen your strength."

Rey swallowed, trying to will down the lump that was forming in her throat. It was true. Finn had never seen her use the Force. Not the way Luke or Kylo had. Luke was afraid of her. That much was obvious after today. She frowned to herself as the memory of her Master's face flashed through her mind. They had been fighting so much lately. Rey was beginning to regret asking Luke to teach her.

Her mind jumped suddenly to the memory of the snow bank. Lightsabers sizzled in the cold casting a colored glow over the short space between them. Kylo had shouted at her. Offered to teach her. She had scarred him moments later.

She looked at the dark haired man looking back at her. His body was relaxed but his face was tense.

"Are you afraid of me?" She asked.

A strange expression fell over his face. She saw him reflexively brush a thumb over the edge of his scar. Their scar. Her heart sank.

He thought for a moment. "Someday..." he sighed resignedly. "Someday I'm afraid you're going to be stronger than me." He gripped his knees in his hands as if to steady himself. He glanced down at them. "But I'm not afraid of _you._ "

She sat stunned. "I wanted to kill you." She admitted.

He looked up. His mouth twisted into a pained half smile. "I know. I could feel it."

She nodded. She shifted, "What did you do when people were afraid of you?" She asked.

He responded by flopping back on the cot. The thin blanket billowed slightly as he landed with a creaking thud. He sighed.

"I became me."

Rey scowled. "That's not very helpful."

He chuckled dryly, "It's not supposed to be. Even if I told you what I did, you wouldn't make the same choices." He glanced over at her cooly.

"That's not who you are...Rey."

—-

One didn't get to be general of a powerful organization like the First Order by sleeping in, but never the less, General Hux grumbled as he adjusted his uniform. If they had been on the planet they were orbiting neither of its two suns would have risen. It was early and Hux was tired. Still when Supreme Leader Snoke called, you came.

He trudged meaningfully down the corridors, navigating the passageways with the habitual grace of frequent repetition until he came to the stoic metallic doors of Snoke's audience chamber. Hux paused. He really hated this part of the ship. It was filled with a strange vaguely mystic energy that made him long for the crystal clear readouts of the monitors and machinery above.

They at least were predictable.

He braced himself and pushed through the doors. He walked down the dark corridor towards the flat open pavilion in the center where Snoke communicated through the holocomms. Hux grimaced at the apparatus. Pageantry where no one could see it felt excessively eccentric. If one was going to flaunt the might of the First Order he felt it was better to do so publicly where it could have the most advantage.

He glanced around. Usually the Knight of Ren was already standing here by now, gloating at him under that stupid visor. There was no trace of him or anyone in the dusky room.

The holocomm flared to life and Snoke loomed before him, larger than life. Hux reflexively took a step back. The hologram always unnerved him.

The hologram spoke. "Ah General Hux, I have much to discuss with you."

Hux could feel the tension rising between his shoulder blades. He stood tall trying to stretch it out. "Of course sir, what can I do for you?"

The hologram of Snoke leaned forward as if the discussion between them was some secret. A preposterous theatric in the complete solitude of the dimly lit room. Hux waited patiently. The Supreme Leader was fond of dramatic pauses.

After a sufficient pause, he finally spoke. "I've grown dissatisfied with the progress of Kylo Ren."

Hux fought to keep from rolling his eyes. A small scowl crept in the corner of his lips before he pressed it away into a firm line.

It was always Kylo. General Hux hated Kylo Ren.

It wasn't hard. He only had to blink to witness the Knight of Ren causing some kind of havoc onboard the ship. He was moody, arrogant, destructive and most importantly unpredictable.

Those were the main reasons for his general dislike of the Force user but there were other smaller more internal complaints. Favor and fortune within the First Order came insipidly easy to the Knight of Ren. It was unthinkable and illogical that _the son_ of two of the biggest threats to the old Empire was now his equal in rank and power.

Hux grimaced. He had studied and trained for years. Working his way up from insignificant stormtrooper to head general and all the gangling rebel prince had to do was sweep through in his archaic robes and wave his arms with that blasted Force. It was maddening.

He swallowed his irritation down and pasted on what he hoped was an obliging smile. "And how exactly do you propose I remedy that?"

The hologram frowned disapprovingly.

"Sarcasm is not becoming on you, General."

General Hux coughed. It was hard to gauge the Supreme Leader. "My apologies."

The hologram waved the apology away. "My desire for you, General, is not Kylo Ren's performance. It is his directive. I want the girl."

Hux crinkled his brow in confusion. "The one with the droid?"

The Supreme Leader nodded. "Precisely, I have a feeling that she will prove an invaluable asset with the Force."

General Hux swallowed a groan. Just what the First Order needed. _Another blasted Force user._

Still he knew better than to protest. The Supreme Leader's orders were absolute. He bowed slightly. "As you wish, it will be done."

His master's wizen scarred face twisted into a frightening caricature of a smile.

"Excellent. I look forward to it General."

The hologram disappeared as quickly as it had come. General Hux stood looking blankly into the dim blank space where the image of his master had been.

How in all the galaxy was he supposed to find the girl if Kylo Ren, Snoke's Force wielding pet, had come back empty handed? He sighed and headed back up to the upper decks. There was only one way to find the girl Master Snoke so desperately wanted.

The old fashioned way.


	18. Chapter 18

Sleep had never been easy for the Knight of Ren and yet it was getting harder with each passing night.

After the scavenger had cried and let him in she had just as quickly pushed him away-and kept him out. As much as she could. He could still feel her over the bond but the hum was faint and reluctant. The frustration and rejection made him seethe until he could taste the iron tang of his own blood mixing with saliva.

He poured himself into training, ripping through droids and sparring partners like tissue paper. When he wasn't training he was landing on some planet for Hux sowing seeds of fear. He had hacked and slashed his way through the hours. That was what he good for after all. Snoke seemed pleased with the renewed dedication but Kylo didn't care. He was raw. He was fury. He was tired. Tired of bonds, feelings and dreams. Every time he closed his eyes he dreamed.

Some night were a jumble of old willfully forgotten memories slap dashed together with embarrassingly juvenile images of desire. A glitter of teeth flashing a smile. Golden desert skin smooth and velvet plush under his fingertips. Hair slipping through his hands like sand. He woke up on these night in a hot frustrating sweat.

Other nights were different. Those nights brought cold sweat that chilled him to the core and made him shiver. On those nights he felt exposed, impossibly lonely and more vulnerable than he ever had before.

On those night he did not dream of the scavenger girl and desire her with her wisps of hair and glistening skin.

He was her.

He was reed thin and so _small._ It always shocked him how small she was, and how cold. For all her present energy and spirit, in his dreams her smiles were just as much a mask as the mechanical one on his bedside. Jakku wasn't a place to feel. To feel was to be vulnerable. No one let themselves be vulnerable on Jakku. Vulnerability was just as much a death sentence in those arid sands as it was in the dark steely confines of the First Order. Rey had honed herself into a machine with only one function. Survival at all costs.

He would awake in her thin little body and feel as the emotions slipped into their hiding places within her as she stretched awake. Elbows creaked and the loneliness slipped into its place. Click-gone. Her tiny back would pull taunt and fear was locked away. Hunger, sadness, happiness, affection, fatigue. Click click click they all snapped into place as she dawned her robes and slipped her hair up into the triple whirls of her distinct buns. The last bun secured tightly and the last emotion tucked away she would beam at nothing in particular. Beam and transform herself from the nameless mystery girl full of feelings into a surviver, a scavenger. Into Rey of Jakku.

Then the day began. A day of scavenging. They were never the same and yet somehow always were. He recoiled as she scanned the world mechanically like a droid. Everything he saw, she saw, had a price.

Everything was either worth effort or wasn't. Every face had percentages hovering just above calculating threat and possible benefit. How many rations would this yield? How many days would her stomach sit empty for that? By the end of her day he was exhausted. He barely had the strength to take the ration packets off the counter of the dingy trading post with the odious hulk of gelatinous stench leering at them and return back to the crumbling wreckage she sheltered in.

They would cook the rations and as she scarfed them down wildly he could feel the feelings fall back into her as the gnawing emptiness of her stomach would leave. Stomach full the mask of the scavenger would fall and the mysterious feeling girl underneath would return.

The feeling girl would gaze up at the stars eyes searching and she would feel. He would feel. The crushing weight of knowing you are alone and loveless. The suffocating smother of being stuck. Hope, the most painful of all. He would feel until he couldn't stand it anymore. Until he could feel her ribs shake with dry tearless sobs. They would sob until the rough waves of an unknown island would crash over their minds wiping the feelings mercifully away and then she would fall asleep. He would wake with a gasp.

He cursed at the scavenger girl on those nights. Shivered in the recycled air cursing at her and her damn memories. Cursed because he had never wanted her more.

The mystery girl hiding behind the barriers.


	19. Chapter 19

Rey laid her cheek on the sun bleached stone as she watched the old Jedi walk away yet again. She felt frayed and dangerously exposed like an old wire still sparking with electricity. She felt dangerous. She hated it. Feeling.

She ran a hand over the large crack she had created in the stone, the source of his retreat, and sighed. In some ways she loved it too. Feeling. Emotion was a luxury, a privilege. It meant you were connected. It meant you had the freedom to care and someone to care about. She had so many people now. She just wished caring didn't hurt so much.

Her thoughts lingered to the faint hum in the back of her mind. She was tempted like she always was in these moments to reach across the expanse towards the beating heart on the other side. She wouldn't though- not today. She had already shown far too much weakness in front of that creature. She shuddered as a gust of wind rose up from the cliffs.

Her life had been a whirlwind of feeling ever since she had encountered the droid. It was almost as if the universe was trying to make up for lost time, shoving emotions down her like rations to fill up the empty space of all those years scavenging in the sand. All those years of being no one.

The path of the Jedi promised peace. It promised cleansing. It promised a return to what she had been for so many years.

 _Did she even want that?_

A part of her did. Her body did. It craved the numbness of peace and routine...but her mind? It wanted more. It wanted to feel and be felt.

She picked herself up and brushed the dust off the ends of her tunic. She turned and gazed down at the sea as it rolled up against the stony unmoving cliffs. The image fit so perfectly with herself inside. Waves of emotion crashing on stagnant shores. She closed her eyes and focused on the hum.

—

A rare expression crossed over the fine pinkish pale porcelain of the General's face. He grinned as he looked down at the monitor readout in front of him.

Finding the girl wouldn't be so difficult after all.

A little, a lot of searching, had yielded surprising results. That blasted Force user had already narrowed down the search area significantly. All of the charts and data pointed to a little blip of a planet in the far reaches. In fact that arrogant magician had been so sure of the location that he had taken a scouting ship himself.

 _Why hadn't he found the girl?_ General Hux ran a hand through his crimson tuft of hair as he considered this. As much as he hated to admit it, the Force wielders calculations were sound. All the evidence led here, to the little planet, she had to be there. There had been no other leads from any of their sources in rebel space. So why hadn't Kylo Ren brought her back?

His mind flashed to a memory he loathed to think about. The scene of his great defeat, the demolition of Starkiller Base. He was dragging that tall heavy man through the snow. The man was deadweight, an maddening burden, and his eyes stared hypnotized and transfixed as he followed something escaping through the forest. Hux had looked up in that moment to see the girl bounding away into the trees. As she slipped from both of the men's gaze, Hux had been startled and almost fell into the snow as the Knight of Ren had burst with booming laughter. He looked every inch a mad man, face streaked with blood and scorched flesh, laughing into the cold air.

General Hux shuddered. He didn't understand the obsession with the girl. She was a tiny slip of a thing. She looked easily broken. Still both Kylo Ren and the Supreme Leader wanted her. He was starting to suspect that the motivations for their desires were dissimilar.

The Supreme Leaders desire made sense at least. Bring another Force user to the fold and have two figures of fear at their disposal. It was tactically sound.

Kylo Ren's motivation didn't seem tactical at all. Otherwise why seek out the planet to do nothing? The readouts showed he had barely scratched the surface, only landing in one remote post. Whatever he was doing did not match the expectations of their leader. It seemed almost- personal.

As if summoned by his thoughts, General Hux heard the heavy pad of footsteps enter the data room and an irritating modulated voice address him.

"General we've been waiting for you." The tall dark specter stood before him, an immovable black cloaked obstacle. Hux exhaled through his nose. Since when did the Knight of Ren care about strategic meetings? Usually he was the one showing up dramatically late. Hux flipped off the screen and turned in time to see the knight tilt his head slightly.

Instinctively Hux drew up the basest thought he could think of. He pictured the lean cerulean form of a Pantoran girl he had picked up long ago when he was still an unranked hotshot. He focused on how her golden eyes had rolled back as she lowered herself on his—

The Knight of Ren flinched. It was a small gesture easily missed to an untrained eye under all that black. General Hux fought back a smirk. Spend enough time and even a mystical monster has their tells.

Having his mind rummaged through like a knapsack wasn't something he enjoyed. He knew that the Force wielder could still take what he wanted if he really needed to. Hux wasn't strong enough to prevent that, but he could make it an unpleasant search. The Knight of Ren rarely poked further whenever he utilized that tactic. Kylo Ren might be an unhinged lunatic but he was also a prude.

He slipped the data stick holding the planet coordinates out of the console and dropped it in his pocket. He glanced lazily at the dark figure before him and clicked his tongue.

"Of course you are." He drawled. "Let us join the rest then shall we?"

The Knight of Ren turned on his heel and walked briskly down the corridor, his cloak billowing behind him. General Hux scowled and lazily followed


	20. Chapter 20

Kylo was starting to suspect that he might be dying. He had awoken with an unnerving sensation of blood leaking internally and had acquired a dull yet lancing pain in his lower abdominals that had steadily worsened into a tight nauseating cramp as the day had progressed. He had throughly checked himself but he could find no injuries. Neither, annoyingly, could a med droid.

He had practically squirmed throughout the daily strategy meeting, trying desperately to find some half decently comfortable position in his seat as beads of sweat collected under his mask. Finally unable to bear it he had stalked out in a huff. Walking helped slightly but whatever was ailing him was unbearable. He felt bloated and sore.

He let his feet carry him to his quarters then thought better of it and strolled purposefully towards the ship's training units. He needed to blow off steam. This new unexplained pain was putting him on edge.

The training room echoed with his footsteps as he entered. The strategy meeting took place during many of the troops sleep cycles so this area of the ship remained unused. He undid the latch on his helmet and pulled himself free. He set the helmet gently down on the cold sterile floor. He booted up a training droid and unclipped his lightsaber. He wouldn't have had it any other way.

The droid rattled to life and started off a series of slowly paced blaster shots. For most troopers the purpose of the shots was to teach footwork for evasion but Kylo needed only to flick a wrist to ricochet each shot out of harms way. He flicked a few away casually allowing the muscles in his arms to regain their memory of the movements.

Once he had repeated that task to his satisfaction he began to move, twisting and turning himself in the ritualistic dance of lightsaber forms, all the while maintaining his redirection of the ever increasing blaster shots. He flowed through the forms and let the movement lull him into the steady rhythm of meditation in motion.

Sweep down, turn, cut up, left, right...

Suddenly a sharp pain shot into the meat of his shoulder. It was rough and sharp as if he had fallen against jagged stone. He faltered, slipping and almost catching a blaster bolt to the side. The bolt grazed past him ripping a smoldering tear in his outer robes. Kylo hopped out of range and deactivated the droid.

A whimper of pain echoed in his head. It was not his own. Kylo turned towards the supposed source of the sound only to chide himself for his stupidity.

There was only one source for a voice that could ring in his head clearly enough to make him turn.

He pulled for the hum and opened it wide. He reached out over it as he always did. Searching—for Rey.

—

Rey was having a terrible day. It might possibly have been the most terrible one in recent memory if she allowed her mind to linger on the string of unpleasant events that had lead up to her lying flat on her back at the bottom of a large sinkhole.

The day had started bad. She had awoken to an ugly crimson stain slashed across her bedding. The now familiar feelings of ache and bloating soon followed as she had risen and readied. She should be grateful, it was a sign she was no longer starving, but the increasing regularity and duration of her cycle never felt like the positive bill of health she knew it was.

The ache had been a distraction in itself but as her daily training with Luke progressed, there had been other distractions as well.

There had been voices bickering in her head during meditation. Insipidly shrill voices that tittered back and forth about the tactically political until she had screeched in frustration and flung herself up and away. Luke had let her go and she had wandered stalking the grassy cliffs irritably.

She had wandered without looking until she found herself in an unfamiliar portion of the island. The air was heavy here, thick and foggy. She pulled her cloak around her shoulders to shield them from the damp. It was becoming increasingly harder to see her footing in the fog.

That was how she had fell. She had been inching through the fog when her eye had been caught by a flash of red arching in the corner of her eye. Startled, she had turned and the ground had crumbled under her weight sliding her down the steep unseen side of a cliff side into the gaping claustrophobia of a sinkhole pocket. Her shoulder had collided haphazardly with a similarly sliding stone and now she lay bruised at the bottom, sore and dusted with dirt.

A small whine escaped her as she struggled to pull herself upright. Her shoulder screamed in protest. She stopped struggling and lay thinking in the dust.

 _Rey..._

She cursed under her breath. The hum flared as the last person she felt like speaking with called out to her. Begrudgingly she reached back over the hum.

 _I'm here,_ she answered _, what do you want?_

 _I heard you,_ the timber of his voice sounded laughably concerned. _Are you hurt?_

She winced as her shoulder twinged then steeled herself. _No, I'm fine._

His voice in her mind was steel. _I felt it. Feel it. Do not lie to me scavenger._

She clicked her tongue. Why even ask then? She frowned towards the top of the dusty pit she was laying in and sighed. The blasted bond was getting stronger.

"Okay fine! I'm hurt! There!" She shouted at the air and at him. "Satisfied?"

His voice solidified in a low whisper as he spoke out loud this time. "Can you move?"

Rey felt her eyes sting in frustration. She blinked. She had already cried in from of the monstrous man once, she refused to repeat the indignity. She tried to roll herself over to stand. The pain of the effort knocked her breath away.

"It hurts too much." She admitted.

A gruff huff of air was her response. "Open up more so I can see."

It was a command. Gently said but not a request. Rey chafed. A long pause hung as the bond hummed between them. Rey fought back tears as she watched the dust settle around her.

"Let me see..." Kylo sighed. "Please."

Rey hesitated but quietly opened herself to the hum, to him. She could feel him meet her halfway. Feel him gather her energy into his own. She could feel him. She shivered. She held her breath and squeezed her eyes shut.

"You've bruised it badly and there may be a small tear in the muscle." He muttered more to himself than her.

The bond wavered. She could feel the idea form in his head even before the dreaded words left his lips.

"I'd like to try something."

Rey snorted through her nose. The last time he had said that they had almost...she had ended up unconscious and trapped in a bad memory. She didn't fancy a repeat.

She could feel him bristle. He was reading her again.

"I can assure you that I have no _ulterior motives_ despite your over active imagination" he sneered. Rey baulked incredulous. She knew better. He certainly had ulterior motives the last time. She could still remember the feel of his li...Rey blushed angrily.

He stiffened as _that_ thought floated over the bond. He grimaced and continued. "While _I_ _imagine_ you must be homesick, I somehow I doubt you wish to remain in this particular dirt filled hovel as familiar as it may be." He let his voice drawl sarcastically over the last choice words before ending the biting soliloquy with a huff.

Oh how she hated him. He was so insufferably arrogant. "Better here than wherever you are." She bit back.

He sneered. She could feel his anger rising hot and electric. She didn't care. Let him seethe. "Do you want my help or not?" He gritted through clenched teeth.

Rey scoffed. Help? From him.

"Not"

The anger on his end burned flashpoint bright. A single answer was all she received before the bond was thrown closed and she was left still staring at the lingering dust bitterly.

It was almost funny how such a genteel phrase could sound so savage as it burned white hot and ragged in her ears.

"As you wish."


	21. Chapter 21

Kylo Ren tossed his hair back and out of his eyes as he turned violently away, slamming up barriers like doors over the hum. If the stupid little scavenger wanted to lay bruised and trapped in the dust he would let her.

 _What if she dies?_

He threw the thought away and stalked over to the training room towel rack, grabbing one and ruffled off the sweat. It was really more of a rag he mused with a sniff as the anger hardened into something darker. Something cruel.

What did he care if a little nothing from the sandpit of Jakku died alone in a hole?

As soon as the thought formed he knew it was a lie. A terrible ugly lie. He cared. He could feel the long forgotten feeling clinging stubbornly to the underside of his diaphragm. He hadn't really cared about anything in a long time. He had given himself over to the Force. Drowned in it but now he was back, coughing and spitting...and caring.

He knew the scavenger girl would never be inconsequential to him. She would never be a nobody. She was Rey of Jakku, a ray of the Light, the One. He cared.

He cursed her stubborn pride under his breath. He could _help_ her if only she would let him.

He threw the towel in the collection bin and stormed out. He stalked down the hall towards his quarters. He could feel remnants of phantom dust mingling with the all too real sweat clinging under the tight collar of his robes. He needed to change.

It took little time or memory to punch in the access codes to his door once he had made it down the winding paths of the corridors. The heavy metal doors whisked open with a hydraulic hiss. He stepped into his quarters and pressed the door closed behind him.

There was not much to the room. Privacy was the only luxury he indulged in. The space was small and monkishly utilitarian, not much different from the quarters shared by the troopers. He strolled over purposefully towards his narrow cot of a bed and reached underneath pulling out a change of clothes.

He set himself down on the side of the narrow bed and began working on the fasteners of his shirt. He slipped off his outer robe and took a moment to let the recycled air of the ship linger on his rarely exposed skin. He took a moment to breathe. She didn't want his help. He gritted his teeth at the thought. It stung.

He reached down under the bed and grabbed a change of clothes that was stored in the space saving drawers built in underneath. He stripped off his undershirt and got to work wrestling into the new set of all black robes.

Once he was properly bound up again in black he threw the old set out of the way and reached for a holopad. He had been scouring the old Empire databases for anything about the phenomenon of force bonds.

So far all he had found was the equivalent of fairytales and legends. He had found one account that seemed promising of something similar once long ago in the age of the old long gone Republic. He flipped back to the account he had marked and looked over the ancient text. Thousands of years had made the text difficult to translate even with the latest programs. It was an interesting puzzle though and would prove a good distraction. Something to take his mind off the stubborn scavenger girl buzzing angrily in the back of his head.

He wasn't sure how long he had stayed hunched in the bed scanning over data before he had dozed off but he awoke some hours later to a peculiar tugging feeling. He ignored it. He stretched and swung his legs over the side of the bed to rise.

He was knocked off his feet before he could even place his full weight on them. He fell skidding to the floor and rolled over and up, scrambling to stand. The bond flared white hot and desperate.

 _Rey!_ He thought. He cursed himself and her under his breath. She was in trouble. She going to die out there without his help. He reached out for her over the hum.

He didn't care if she wanted it or not. He was going to help her. Force her out of that hole if he had to.

Just as he was halfway there he was knocked back by a strong wave of the force. It overtook him and pulled him forward almost slamming him into the far wall. He braced his arms and held himself steady.

Her voice rushed over the wave and shook in his ears, raw with panic.

"I take it back, what did you have in mind?"

His shoulders shook with silent laughter.

She needed him.

—

Rey struggled to sit upright. Her shoulder screamed with agony. She bit back tears till her lip bled. The water was filling way too fast. Her first experience with rain on the island had been magical, almost serene, and she had marveled at the power of water. She wasn't marveling now. She was terrified.

She had laid in that hole stubbornly for hours before the rain had started as a soft misting trickle that ticklishly kissed her nose with wet little dewdrops. Weather rarely stayed gentle on this island though and the rain had been no different. Dewdrops had turned to raindrops which in turn had turned into fat ugly wads of sky spit that had quickly started to fill the bottom of the sinkhole with a substantial puddle of water. It was only till the puddle reached her ears that she had started to panic.

She managed to roll herself upright and sat breath heaving with the effort as she slumped against the now slick mud dirt walls of the sinkhole. This new position would buy her some time but nothing permanent. If she couldn't find a way out of this hole she would drown.

She tried to stand. Her legs buckled under her and she stumbled back down. She didn't have the strength.

She snarled stubbornly. The scavenger inside her instinctively knew of the easiest solution. Kylo. She slammed her fist into the mud wall and grimaced as her hand came away packed with dirt. She rinsed it off hurriedly in the ever rising puddle. Her legs were now almost covered in water.

She didn't want to give him the satisfaction...but she didn't want to drown in a hole either. With a frustrated scream she reached—and hit nothing. Well almost nothing. A thick barrier. He had shut her out.

She could feel the anger rising. She reached out again more forcefully this time slamming her will against the barrier. She could feel it crack slightly. She slammed again and again.

Finally she felt him sitting drowsily and stupidly on his too small cot. She reached out and grabbed for him. Pinned him down.

He was going to help her.

—

"Let me up, Rey."

He asked quietly. As gently as he could muster. He could feel her panic vibrating dangerously over the hum. He could feel the unfettered strength of her will pinning him against the wall. Her strength was exciting. He bit the inside of his lip to steady his thoughts back into focus.

She wanted his help. He wanted to help her but he knew that any wrong word or thought would severe this mutual unspoken agreement completely. Whatever had compelled her to reach for him was thin. Breakable.

He breathed in deep and steady until he felt her ease her grip. He stood and silently reached over the hum for her until he could see her slumped painfully in the mud, soaked with rain.

"My legs got hurt in the fall too. I've sprained something. It hurts too much to stand." She said sheepishly.

"And the rain is coming in fast." He finished for her.

"So what did you have in mind?" She grimaced slightly, as if the question stung to say aloud.

"A variation on what I tried earlier when we met in the trading post. I think I can get you out."

She frowned. "You're not knocking me out." She said her brow crinkling.

"No!" The response came out rather more loudly than he had intended. Rawer than he wanted. He backtracked. "No, you'd be conscious for it...I think."

Skepticism painted Rey's face. "You think?"

It was so hard to be patient with Rey. He bit his lip. "I'm pretty sure you'll remain conscious. Even if you don't I definitely am positive I can get you out. Trust me, please." He said with a husk almost choking on the last word. It was one he used so rarely.

He saw her gap slightly in surprise. Her lips painted and glistening with rain. He swallowed.

She shrugged. "Okay... Just this once." She closed her eyes and took a breath. "What do I have to do?"

He stared at her transfixed. She exhaled through her nose. "Well?"

He quickly gathered himself. "Just stay like that. Don't move." He saw her brace herself. He waited until he saw her shoulders relax.

Then he reached


	22. Chapter 22

Rey felt the power rush into her. It was dark, rich and heady, like spiced wine. Intoxicating and numbing. She felt taller and broader. She felt powerful.

Suddenly he was there, wrapped up inside her, wearing her like a cloak. Kylo stood and she felt her body protest around him. She felt a whimper escape her lips. She couldn't tell if she had made it or if he had.

"This is strange." She felt herself whisper.

 _Don't talk. It makes it hard to concentrate._ His words echoed in her head like thoughts. Deep inside her head and disturbingly personal.

He reached up with her hands and dug them into the sides of the dirt walls, burying them in the thick mud. He pulled her upright. His-her legs struggled but found purchase. Inch by inch he clawed his way up the side of the sinkhole wall. She could feel her body vibrating with the Force and she knew that its power was what was pulling them forward. It hurt a lot.

 _Bear with it, we're almost there._

 _I've got you. We'll make it._

Rey fought back tears and a laugh. They were cruel those words. They echoed in her head like a mantra. They were too gentle. Too comforting.

She concentrated on pulling in the Force. They were almost to the top. Just a little more and they—

Kylo clawed finding a ledge. Rey could feel grass under her fingertips. They grabbed frantically at it and Rey could feel Kylo hauling her over the side, the Force propelling them up and over so quickly that she-they rolled through the grass several feet before she felt Kylo fumble them to a stop and they lay heaving in the grass.

"Can I talk now?" She felt herself gasp. She was out of breath.

A shaky laugh resonated in her head.

 _Sure..._ She could feel him breathing deep through the hum, the movement of his lungs syncing with her own. She could feel his fatigue with each breath. She was tired too.

 _Can I stay here? Just for awhile?_ He was hesitant. She could feel him fluttering, still wearing her like a robe wrapped around himself. Somehow her shoulder didn't hurt as much when it was his. She smiled wryly.

"Okay" she agreed.

"Just this once"

—

Kylo gulped in air as he lay in the grass with Rey's body thrown around him like a blanket. He laid there relishing the cool grass and the once in a lifetime opportunity he was currently experiencing. Being her made him feel small and stable. Warm. Calm. Even with the screaming pain in his shoulder and the nagging ache in his abdomen. It felt good.

The pain under his stomach made him wince. Had she been hurt before the fall? He paused considering.

He could feel his voice in her ears and could vaguely feel himself laying prone and exhausted back in the cold of his quarters. He concentrated harder on the grass. He wasn't ready to go back yet.

"Did you-hurt yourself before the fall?" He asked. He could feel her brow wrinkle as if it were his own.

"No," she answered softly. "Why?"

He cleared his throat. "I've felt a pain in my stomach all day. I thought maybe you ate something..." His voice trailed off. He could feel himself shake lightly. She was laughing. It was small, quiet and sweet. Like reeds rushing. The feeling of it tingled down to his fingertips.

She rolled them over on their stomach. To take the pressure off their shoulder. She smiled dryly. "No that's um...normal."

He frowned. "How is pain normal?"

She didn't answer. Silently she let the morning's memories wash over the bond. The stain, the soreness, the packs of moisture absorption packets she had bought earlier at the trading post.

"Oh..." he whispered. Heat rose in his cheeks. "But before on Jakku? I felt your memories..."

She grimaced. "I was starving then."

"Ah, I see..." He wasn't sure what to say.

"Sorry," she said stroking the grass under her palm. "...if it hurt. Earlier and just now."

Kylo sat still letting the sensation of the grass seep into his memory. "It's okay." He said quietly. "I can handle it."

He could feel her smile sadly. She smiled too much he thought to himself. Smiled for all the wrong reasons.

He almost missed her next words. He was so transfixed by what she did next.

She reached up and he felt the slightly damp pads of her fingertips run over and draw softly over her face. She traced an invisible line from the bridge of her nose over her cheek. His cheek. His scar. He held his breath stock still as her fingers lingered warm on his cheek. Her voice was soft and quiet. Kind. Gentle.

"Thank you."


	23. Chapter 23

The plan was perfect so far or at least damn near it. General Hux suppressed a small smile into a tight neutral line as he entered data into the monitor in front of him. Coordinates, profiles and promises. Bounty hunters were tedious to work with, so much red tape, but they were effective, flexible, and most importantly predictable. They always followed the credits. Always.

The plan like all his best was simple. Hire someone subtle, set a trap and wait. It had worked brilliantly with the droid at the canteen on Takodana before Kylo Ren had blown it all to pieces by grabbing the very girl he was now seeking, and Hux had no doubt it would work just as well for finding the girl.

Hux surveyed the map of the little trading post. A triangular snare of watchful eyes worked best...but where to start?

A flutter of unmistakeable black caught the corner of his eye near the doorway. The Knight of Ren's signature cloak had a distinctively annoying pageantry to its movement. Still this was hardly an area of the ship that the feral force wielder usually haunted with his destructive presence. Hux switched off the monitor and rolled back in his chair, sliding curiously towards the door. Leaning back, and to the side, he glanced out the entrance after the knight. What he saw made his eyebrows rise curiously.

Kylo Ren was practically wandering down the hall, walking aimlessly as if lost, and stranger still he was talking to himself.

"I said I was sorry, I'm still getting used to this." The knight muttered sheepishly to himself. _Sorry for what?_ Hux wondered bewilderedly.

"Anything I can help you with?" The behavior in front of his eyes was so bizarre that Hux felt himself call out the question before he could think of the consequences.

The Knight of Ren whirled and suddenly quite a few consequences flashed through the General's mind. None of them were particularly pleasant and none could have prepared him for what happened next.

Kylo Ren stared at him with bright unrecognizing eyes and flashed him a wide grin. Hux almost fell out of his chair at the sight. Since when did Kylo Ren _smile?_

"Oh, no, I'm fine. Sorry, I didn't see you there.."The force wielder chirped. _Chirped._

General Hux felt himself blush. Confused and a little dismayed he cleared his throat. "Well no, I was in here...are you alright?" He couldn't help but stare at the Knight of Ren. Kylo had quite a lot of teeth and it was stupefying to see so many of them all at once.

Suddenly as if called by a far off voice, Kylo Ren looked away over Hux shoulder down the hall. His eyes flickered in understanding at something unseen. Just as suddenly his expression darkened and hardened into the usual mask of neutrality that Hux was used to seeing plastered on the pale face.

"I'm fine." The Knight of Ren said pursing his lips into a frown. "I was just leaving." He stalked past Hux back down the hall in the same direction he had come. Hux gazed down the hall after him before shrugging and rolling back towards his workstation.

The Force wielder behavior was odd but his strange interruption had given Hux an idea. He rapidly typed, pulling up strings of data, receipts and accounts until he found just the single string of characters he was looking for. Anything bought with First Order credits left a paper trail. No one was immune. Not even hand waving conjurers.

Hux brought back up the map of the trading post and added a marker over a little canteen in the eastern district. It was a start.

—

"Please stop eating." He scolded half heartedly as he felt yet another sweet bun settle in his stomach.

"But they're so _good._ " She crooned, the sound muffled by the doughy sweetbread. She closed his eyes blissfully. He was sure he looked ridiculous. Sitting in a First Order mess hall, leisurely eating unnecessary carbohydrates.

"And I have a bad metabolism, so if you don't want to be writhing in agony with me later then stop." He chided trying not to grin.

"Stop braiding my hair then." She retorted stuffing another fluffy mouthful down the hatch.

He hastily dropped the plait he had been weaving with her small fingers and pouted guiltily.

"It's windy here, your hair gets in your face." He protested.

"Exactly." She said licking a bit of glaze off his palm. "I like it that way."

He blushed and could feel her cheeks warm with his embarrassment as the phantom of the sensation traveled over the bond. "Don't...don't do that."

Another phantom feeling filtered through the bond. Now his cheeks really _were_ red. She was embarrassed too. "Sorry I forgot." She frowned. "Do you want to switch back?"

He didn't really but it was possible he had made her feel awkward. He didn't want to push. Not after they had made so much progress. "If you want to." He said gently trying not to sound disappointed.

Rey fidgeted and brushed at the ends of his cowl, dusting away the tiny crumbs that had accumulated, before getting up and starting down the hall.

"I don't."

After her rescue from the sinkhole, Rey had been more open to the bond than Kylo had ever felt from her before. A small sprinkle of something just close enough to trust hung over the hum between them. Kylo wasn't fighting it. You didn't fight the Force and the Force was bringing him Rey—lots of Rey. Each second with the girl from Jakku was new, frightening, but not unpleasant.

"Alright." He said standing up on her thin legs and striding towards the shore. "Just stay away from the officer's quarters."

Rey nodded. "And no smiling."

Kylo grinned. Her face smiled so easily. "Right, no smiling." He said trying to sound serious.

It was hard to. The island, as much as he hated to admit it, was beautiful in a quiet and dilapidated way. Standing on the edge of where the grass met the sands of the shore, Kylo marveled at the sights and sounds around him.

The bond was powerful if they left it open. Powerful and full of possibilities that one by one Rey was letting him explore. She had been the one to suggest this little experiment.

"So far you're at the advantage," She had grumbled tersely. "I can't allow that." She had insisted he show her how he had transferred himself over the bond. He had quickly agreed. Any chance to learn about the Force was one he would take.

She, just like all the times before, picked up the skill rather too quickly and had hurtled herself over without thinking. He had to scramble to jump into her to keep her body from slumping unconscious on the sharp rocks of the island path. They had stood there briefly, startled and staring at their new surroundings. She had been the first to break the silence.

"You're so tall!" She had gaped. "And heavy!"

"And you're small..." he had grumbled. "And thoughtless. You almost got yourself killed."

Rey had ignored him and had gazed around the cool metallic interior of his quarters in a daze. He had stood still watching her over the bond, watching her step girlishly to run fingertips over the chrome lining of the door panel. It was odd to see her as himself. To see his large frame move with her small delicate movements. It was rather like watching surveillance footage.

He watched her run a hand over the fabric of his tunic and he could feel the phantom sensation of it faintly over the bond.

"It's softer than it looks." She whispered aloud. It was equally strange to hear her thoughts spoken in the timbre of his voice.

"Its waterproofed." He had answered. The words fell abstractly and awkwardly into the wind, the breeze carrying away the soft lilt of the borrowed aristocratic voice.

"This is...incredible." Rey breathed staring over at him with his own dark violet rimmed eyes. He was struck by how intense and tired his face looked. He really did resemble a creature, all hard lines, sharp teeth and wild hair.

"Yeah..." he had agreed. "Incredible."

 _I want to see the ship._ She dropped the thought over the hum and quickly shot through the door before he even had a chance to answer. He groaned and settled down on the grass to wait.


	24. Chapter 24

If Unkar had been offering First Order pants with that pile of ration packs, Rey mused, she might not have changed her mind about BB8 and would never have left Jakku that fateful day. These were the most comfortable clothes she had ever worn and she wasn't even really in them.

She stormed purposefully down the halls taking in the First Order ship. She tried to move like the body she was inhabiting had moved in her memories, lithe and intensely feral, like an animal stalking through the forest.

"Stop stomping around." The owner grumbled familiarly in her own voice. "I don't walk like that. Walk normally."

Rey frowned, wrinkling eyebrows that were not her own. "Fine." She stopped in a corner corridor and leaned against the cool slick surface of the ship's walls.

"I think this ship is just one endless hallway." She mumbled.

Over the hum she could feel the phantom sensation of her shoulders hitching in stifled laughter. It was unsettling to hear. It was light, breathy and human.

"You may be right." Kylo Ren answered glancing over at her over the hum. She grimaced. It was painful to meet his gaze so suddenly. It was always so full of feeling. The way he looked at her. She had never met anyone who looked at her like that. His eyes were always spilling over, leaking with distractions. A raw gaze, powerful in its transparency, rich and thick with the luxury of hiding nothing. Her hazel brown eyes practically glowed with the intensity of it. She cleared her throat and pulled her eyes away to focus on the grout in the floor.

"How's my shoulder?" She asked. She already knew, it had ached that morning, but now whatever pain she had felt was his pain. The query was as close as she could manage to an apology.

"If you want to say something." Kylo huffed back at her gently. "...just say it."

Rey looked down the long cold hall fighting to will the long face into stone. It was difficult. This face had hid behind a mask too long. She let the effort fall and fade then sighed.

"I'm sorry for earlier, I got carried away." She said reluctantly turning watching him over the bond. He wasn't looking at her now but instead gazed out towards the sea. He shrugged absently at the apology. He was still sitting in the grass.

"You can move, you know." She shrugged starting off again down the maze of hallways. " I won't break...or break anything. You don't have to keep an eye on me."

She saw him start as the words registered whipping up from some far off thought to look at her. She sighed exasperatedly.

"Go ahead and look around. It's only fair."

—

Kylo sat a moment longer before standing with a slight groan and making his way gingerly down the sloping hillside to the shore. He went slowly on her small legs, careful not to put pressure on the bruising sprain of her ankle.

He hadn't seen the sea in years. He could feel her watching him over the bond as she walked slowly down cold corridors. He could see her duck into a small alcove and feel as she sat to rest. No doubt she was tired. This experience was new. He had no idea how taxing it might be for her to pilot a body so much larger than her own.

As if sensing his thoughts she answered testily. "I'm not tired." She scrunched into the corner of the wall leaning his head back against the cool siding. She paused then admitted reluctantly, "I'm lost."

He raised an eyebrow in response then walk down onto the sand. "I suppose that makes two of us. I've never exactly been here before."

The sea was calm on this side of the island. Waves brushed gently over the sand. The blue of the horizon melding into the green slope of the land. Kylo breathed in deep. The air was headily fresh with the sweet tang of grass and salt spray. A sudden wild urge struck him. He bent down and pulled off worn leather boots and woolen socks, tucking them down and setting them gently on the edge of the grass out of the sand.

He gingerly stepped out and felt as sand sank around the slender bones of her feet. It was warm from the sun. He scrunched toes down deep into it and felt the cooler sand underneath. He gasped at the long forgotten sensation and was surprised to hear his voice along with the light girlish one he was borrowing.

Rey shivered. "Stop it. I hate sand."

He dug in deeper. Payback for the sweet rolls. "You told me to move. Besides I _like_ sand."

Her scowl deepened. "You _like_ it? It gets everywhere!"

He closed her eyes for a moment and breathed reveling in the soft scratching sensation of the fine grains. "It's an example of the strength of perseverance and the power of repetition. Given enough time even something as soft and yielding as the wind can reduce mountains to dust."

Rey scoffed. "You think too much." There was an amused inflection in her tone that made his voice she was using sound all the more alien. He shrugged and kicked up a small scuff of sand. "I suppose so. I have plenty of time for it." He watched as the sprinkle of grains traveled a short distance on the wind and resettled back into indistinguishable obscurity.

"What should I call you?" Rey asked suddenly. He looked up over the hum, eyes half open, under the haze of her light brown eyelashes.

"You mean besides monster?"

She bristled. He shifted awkwardly. Anxiety settled uncomfortably in his throat. He had misstepped. He held his breath, waiting, half expecting her to cut him off in anger. Left stranded in a small body on a small island.

Instead she smiled sadly and continued. She spoke quietly and hesitantly. "Kylo Ren. How did you get that name?"

The breath he'd been holding rushed out. He looked over the water. "My Master gave it to me."

The smile faded. He felt relieved to see it go. " I thought so." She said softly. "I don't want to use it."

He glanced up and over at her nervously. "Why?"

She met his gaze and held it so tightly that the line between them over the hum started to blur. Where did they begin? Or end? It was mesmerizing.

She answered slowly and measuredly. "Kylo Ren is who he wants you to be...a monster...a new Vader." She paused drawing a shaky breath. "I don't think that's who I'm speaking to now."

Kylo's eyes drew wide. A tear slipped down his face running through the canal of his scar. He reached up and wiped it away and was startled to realize that _he_ was now sitting in the alcove and Rey— _Rey_ was looking back at him on the shore. Looking at _him._

"Who do you want me to be?" He asked his voice hoarse and brittle.

"I don't want you to be anything." She answered. "I want to know you. I want to know who _you_ are. So even temporarily I need another name. What should I call you?"

There was a feeling bubbling in Kylo's, in his-whoever he was, chest and it spilled out over the rims of his eyes into salty tears that stung as they slipped silently down to soak into his collar. It was a new feeling. Powerful and overwhelming. It was neither light nor dark but it was warm and he had no words to describe it that did it justice but he knew it was a feeling he never wanted to lose. He would need to bet everything on the scavenger girl to keep it.

He struggled to answer but try as he might there was only one other name he knew to offer. He swallowed.

"Ben. You can call me Ben."


	25. Chapter 25

Finn stared at the plastic webbed suit skeptically. It was old tech, and the tangle of wires bursting spontaneously like creeping vines did little to assuage his doubts. He shifted in his seat and the paper thin canvas of his makeshift hospital gown rustled slightly.

The dashing pilot to his right frowned down at the suit as well and gripped hands more firmly on the wheelchair Finn was sitting in. "I don't like it anymore than you do, buddy, but this is the closest thing we have to a bacta tank on the base. You gotta do it if you want your legs back."

Finn glanced up at the the pilot, Poe, and sighed. "You're right..."

Still he'd be asleep for days, weeks even, while this pile of junk patched him back together. What if Rey returned while he was still out?

Poe squeezed his shoulder. "It'll be okay, the General will look out for Rey."

Finn grinned sheepishly up at the pilot. As usual his friend could read him like a book.

Still he couldn't help but worry about Rey. She was his first friend, the first girl, hell the first anyone, he'd ever really known. He'd met Poe first technically speaking but he'd had gotten to _know_ Rey and she had been the first to know him. She was special. Funny, cute and definitely a little magical. Maybe more than a little magical. Even if he was currently beat up and useless he still felt the overwhelming urge to protect her. She was worth protecting.

How could he do that if he was trapped in a plastic tarp?

A med droid approached. It was time.

Finn grinned lightly and sighed. "Alright here we go. Help me up will you?" He raised up his arms so Poe could more easily hook his underneath to lift him up. It took a little maneuvering but eventually he was successfully propped up on the med table and the droid was steadily encasing him in the rickety plastic cocoon.

Poe flashed him a grin. "You've got me here too you know. Any friend of your's is a friend of mine pal."

Finn chuckled half from the reassurance and half from the ticklish sensation of bacta fluid filling and inflating the suit. The gown dissolved into the fluid. Soon the meds would kick in and he'd be out like a light.

"Thanks." He said meaningfully looking over at the pilot. Poe was a good man. Trustworthy.

The room blurred. A mirage of a med droid lowered the dome lid down around him and then there was silence.

—

Poe watched until his friend's eyes closed and his features softened with sleep before he left the room to rejoin his droid out in the hall. The orange striped BB unit chirp quizzically. He smiled down at the little sphere and shrugged.

"I'm not sure how long it will take for this last one BB, that bastard got him pretty bad." His jaw hardened at the thought of their mutual enemy and the memory of being interrogated on the ship. He shook them out of his head and walked briskly towards the command center of the ship.

"Come on BB, lets go find the General."

The base was a blur of activity and flashing smiles. Nearly everyone he and the little droid rolled pasts looked up from their various assignments to beam at the young pilot or exchange an enthusiastic variant of a greeting. Poe smiled back effortlessly. He had long since learned exactly how many teeth to show to get out of speaking. It was flattering that so many people looked up to him. Flattering and a little overwhelming. A hero's shoes were big ones to fill.

He dunked under the scaffolding some of the maintenance techs had set up and entered the small command center. Just as he had been expecting, General Organa stood next to the monitors, accompanied by her usual entourage of droids. A brassy uptight protocol droid and a blue little R2 unit. As usual C-3PO, the protocol droid, was the first to speak.

"Ah! So good to see you both! Why the General was just mentioning you BB-8! You—"

The General waved the droid into silence and looked up at the young pilot.

"Good to see you Poe, how's our new recruit?"

Poe grinned at the grey haired General. "He's wrapped up in a bacta suit for one last nap. He should be good as new soon."

The General smiled thinly and ran a hand over the silver cuff bracelet encasing her wrist, adjusting it slightly over the dusty brown of her sleeve. "That is excellent news. He seems like a fine young man."

"He is." Poe agreed enthusiastically. "He'll be an asset for sure."

Her smile widened into something more genuine at the sentiment before it fell serious once more. "Commander, it's not looking good out there."

Poe's easy grin fell to match her steely expression. "That bad huh? How close are they to finding us?"

"Close." One word was enough for Poe to understand. They had discussed the possibility of the First Order discovering the base earlier. That was one thing he appreciated about the General, she included him in her plans. It was a small gesture but it meant more to him than she probably realized. It made him feel needed and less like a fraud.

"Are we going to meet them head on?" He asked. They had limited ships but if they struck early they had just enough bombers to-

"No Poe, we're going to evacuate."


	26. Chapter 26

Kylo knew that it was a possibility. That sooner or later, try as he might to avoid it, there would be a moment when it wouldn't just be the scavenger he'd see through the bond. He knew it and yet he still was frozen in fear, even in the unreachable shadows of his First Order quarters, as he watched the old Jedi pass by unaware down one of the steep green hills of Rey's little island.

"Ben?" She called but the blood had already rushed into his ears and was drowning her out, casting her voice to sound so far away, as if there were more than just a galaxy between them.

Kylo's heart roared in his ears, further drowning her out. He swore under his breath and choked on it. The old Jedi ruined everything. Tainted everything with his archaic nonsense and his legends. Bitter memories flashed through his mind like kindling fueling his rising panic. The Jedi was a traitor, a liar and he was here. There- with Rey. Spoiling her with lies. He would feed her lies until she got too strong...and then? What would he do? A particularly unpleasant memory reeled violently through his mind leaving his mouth dry and sour with panicked worry.

The fear curdled into rage. He felt his face flush hot and could feel the spark behind his eyes. It was familiar, this blind white hot rage that could rupture out of him.

"Ben No!" He didn't even feel himself fall to the floor of his quarters as he tossed himself over the hum and reached, raising the tiny arm in an extension of his will. Raising it and squeezing towards the old Jedi. He would choke the life out of that old fool. It was more than he deserved!

...but he continued on, shuffling down the into the grassy knoll dotted with hive like shelters. Kylo gasped. His outstretch arm had done nothing. He inhaled a frustrated shaky breath before he realized fully what he had done.

 _Rey!_ He had made a mistake. A big mistake. Kylo lowered the borrowed arm.

"Rey! I-I'm sorry. I-" he started. She didn't let him finish.

"Out! Get out!" He felt himself slam back into his body. The cold durasteel floor underneath was ice cold. He scrambled up.

"Rey! Please!"

But she was gone. Once again he was shut out. Alone. The bond so weak he could barely feel it trembling around him.


End file.
